ME: Are you amish?
NOTARY: No, Im squeamish
ME: Close enough!
Here is a scene with a Notary based on a guy I met who ran an acupuncture clinic. He wanted only two people in his office at a time, and when a third person came in, he flinched. It was a large office too. What that guy didn’t understand was that the germs from the previous people were still in the air regardless of how many people were there now.
ME: Hi Mr. Notary, do you think you could notarize this for me.
NOTARY: Sure, just sign my journal. Oh, I love your mask.
ME: I think I’ve been in Los Angeles too long. Okay…
NOTARY: Ohhhh, you just came five feet and eight inches from me. We just violated social distancing for a whole second.
ME: Terribly sorry. Perhaps you should report us to Anthony Fauci so we can be reprimanded. It’s no big deal… Oh… Oh… (I fall on the floor and start having convulsions. then play dead, and then abruptly stand up and say) “Just kidding!”
NOTARY: That wasn’t funny. I could have given Covid to you and then you might give Covid to your Grandmother and she could die.
ME: I’ll let grandma figure out how to take care of herself. She has free will by the way. I don’t have a grandma.
NOTARY: Oh no, you touched my journal and I just touched my journal.
ME: Time to wash your hands for 20 seconds. The way I do it is to pretend that I put my hand in the toilet and wash accordingly.
NOTARY: You put your hand in the toilet?
ME: I said pretend. Here is my ID. I touched it..
NOTARY: Oh no, I have to wash my hands again… Please excuse me for the third time.
ME: Okay. And make sure you wash for a full 20 seconds again. I’ll count to make sure.
NOTARY: Okay, I’m back and I am going to stamp the documents.
ME: With wet hands, over my dead body.
NOTARY: I’ll stay at least six feet from your dead body, even if it is six feet under.
ME: Please dry your hands thoroughly, this is a recorded document. Wet hands, wet hands, oh my God wet hands.
NOTARY: Covid, Covid, oh my God Covid. We’re all going to die.
ME: The vaccine is more likely to kill you than Covid.
NOTARY: How can you say that?
ME: You don’t know what people’s motivations are. Some mad scientist created Covid to kill people. Another mad scientist in the same group created a vaccine to… fill in the blanks.
NOTARY: Oh my God. What if you are right? Vaccine, Vaccine, oh my God Vaccine. I’ve just been reverse brainwashed. You’re a lot faster than the media which took two months to fully brainwash me into N15 masks, the six foot rule, shut downs, and more.
ME: Let me inspect your hands and see if they are dry. Touch this blank document with all of your fingers and do a sample signature so I can see if it is dry. By the way, if I sneeze, or if my germs are in the air, they can go a lot farther than six feet. They can impregnate the entire house.
NOTARY: You’re scaring me. Did you touch the paper?
ME: Not yet.
NOTARY: Okay, here you go. Thanks. Elbow bump… let’s skip that.
