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May 27, 2020

The Lonely Notary

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 10:01 pm

Once upon a time there was a lonely Notary. He wanted to talk to everyone, but nobody wanted to talk to him. So, he resorted to talking to animals, stray cats, little chihuahuas, birds, squirrels, and bar tenders. He went to all the NNA conventions, but nobody there would talk to him longer than a few seconds to engage in pleasantries. His only acquaintances were bar tenders that humored him with a little conversation before they walked off in the middle of his sentences to get a drink or wash something.

He liked being a notary because at loan signings, the signers were forced to talk to him. Sometimes they actually liked talking to him. Other people were not so nice. Once some stuck up girls were ignoring the lonely Notary. So, the notary insulted them. They got offended and started arguing with him. The Notary said, “At least I got you to talk to me — I’m so lonely.”

The lonely Notary soon found out that people at old age homes like to talk a lot — a really lot. So, he spent an hour at an old age home. He liked the fact that people wanted to talk to him. But, the problem is that most of them didn’t listen. They just talked right over him. And then others were so hard of hearing that they couldn’t listen.

The Lonely Notary was so upset with modern American culture and how unfriendly it is, that he decided to move to Africa. Life was cheap over there and everyone wanted to talk to him because Africans are more of a talkative people. At first he went to the wrong country and they spoke French only. His French was mediocre, plus understanding their weird sounding accent in French was too much. So, then he moved to another area. But, too many tribal languages were being spoken, plus the tribal make up (the little dots on their faces) were a little odd for our American friend. Finally, he made it to an English speaking place.

Once he arrived, his new friends taught him how to do an African laugh. You need to inhale a lot, open your mouth wide, and do a “ha ha ha haaaaaaa” with an elongated last “ha” all in a very deep voice.

So, our American friend enjoyed his new life in Africa, made many friends and lived happily ever after until he got some rare tropical disease that no doctor had ever heard of and died. But, he died happy. And upon his death, his last words were, “Ha ha ha ha haaaaa.”


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