A client of mine in New Jersey tells this harrowing tale about doing a cash-out job in Patterson.

The Notary enters the house. The borrower calls his wife a crack ho. They go to the car to do the signing. The borrower pulls a gun, points it at the Notary and says, “You aren’t going to mess with me man!” The Notary said, “I’m just here to sign papers.” Then the Notary got a job signing for a paraplegic. The Notary asked how the signer was going to sign. The signer asked the notary to put the pen in his mouth.

After that, the Notary got a call to go to Karen Johnson’s house. He gets to the house and the woman loudly says, “What the hell is going on?” It was Whoopi Goldberg using her real name.

So, I guess that Notary had fun notarizing celebrities, but not as much fun as I had notarizing an arsonist and his jurors — not that I am trying to be one-up on him!