I don’t think that Julius Caesar was a Notary, but they had Notaries in Rome, and Rome is one of the ancestors of American civilization along with Greece, Israel, Sumeria, France, and England. It is interesting to know that our culture derives originally from Iraq. I wonder what Saddam would have to say about that. They invented the clock with 12 hours and 60 minutes, etc. This silly story is about the American version of Julius Caesar and I got the story as close to the real story as it can possibly be in modern America if you over look the fact that Americans normally drink champagne in hot tubs and not sangria… details.
Julius started his career in escrow in Missouri. Things were good until he went on vacation to the Caribbean and got kidnapped by pirates. He escaped by the grace of God after having a seizure, and then bought a slave who was an expert in Greek philosophy to teach his beloved daughter. He brought the slave back to Rome, Missouri where he lived in this fictional blog article. Think of this as a modern day Julius… you know… with the straight cut bangs… not really my style, but it works for him.
He continued his career while his slave educated his daughter in the classics, and then a terrible tragedy happened. His wife died, and he was devastated.
Disclaimer to the Black Lives Matter movement… The slave was a white guy who looked Greek and thought Greek. So, that makes it okay… I guess…
Meanwhile in Julius’ home town of Rome, Missouri, the mayor made some law changes that allowed him to kill anyone who he claimed was a threat to him. Since Julius was honest and said he would kill the mayor on a whim, the mayor let him live. Then the mayor made his collegue Pompey kill someone else otherwise he would have someone kill Pompey. The citizens of the town had had it, and Pompey poisoned the mayor, and the mayor died in a hot tub. What a scandal. But, on a brighter note, there were no prostitutes involved, so that makes it less bad.
Julius was so stressed out by the situation, he had a seizure. Maybe we should call him Julius Seizure since he had seizures, not Caesars. On the other hand, the Caesar salad works for many people, so perhaps we should leave the name as is.
After that, Julius decided to become a Notary and do some conquering. He conquered the business from all Escrow companies in towns with French names in the midwest. Since that area used to belong to France, there were plenty. He spent eight years conquering what he called France or Gaul, and developed a business so huge, he had to hire many to help him. He spent most of his time away from home wooing more new clients and rarely returned home.
Finally after conquering the Gauls in the French named towns, Julius returned to his home town only to find that Pompey and his colleagues wanted to kill him due to a disagreement about some local political decision they were lobbying local government about. Julius hired a bodyguard, and later learned that Pompey had been killed at an Egyptian restaurant several hours Southeast of their town — that was famous for lamb kabobs and belly dancing. Julius went to the Egyptian restaurant and inspected the severed head of his rival that the Pharaoh kept for him in a basket. He then returned to his hometown.
His new wife had a terrible dream that the windows came open, lots of wind came in, and that she found his body covered in blood in the bed. Julius disregarded the dream. Then a wise elder said, “Beware of the Ides of March.” Julius went to town hall to take part in a political discussion. The friends of the late Pompey were there and stabbed him to death.
After the stabbing, someone mentioned to the old man, “The Ides of March have already come.” The old man said, “Yes, but they haven’t left yet.”
So, this is the Notary version of the story of Julius Caesar. My parting words are —
“He who lives by the seal, dies by the seal.” and
“All roads lead to Rome, MO” (yes, it exists, but few roads actually lead there)
“When in Roam (on your cell phone coverage) do as the Roamers do!”
“A great Notary business isn’t built in a day, but if you work on your notes section, at least you are giving yourself a chance.”
