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January 4, 2011

Notarized Subordination Agreement

Filed under: (4) Documents — admin @ 3:21 am

Subordination Agreements are often included in a loan signing. Many people find it hard to understand or explain what this document actually does or means. It basically assigns a priority for which loan gets paid first if there is insolvency. What a lovely thought. It’s a bit like a prenuptial at a wedding — you’re already thinking about getting divorced before you are actually married.

In any case, Subordination Agreements are a very common type of notarized documents. Just make sure your document is fully filled out before you call the notary that you found on 123notary.com. You will need a government issued photo-ID as identification for the notary signing. You will also need to sign the notary journal. Being notarized is not hard. Just try to find a notary who knows what they are doing! Additionally, the notary is not responsible to understand the document and is prohibited from explaining it. So, ask your Attorney. You do have an Attorney, right?

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How to handle rude clients

Filed under: General Articles,Popular on Facebook (some),Popular Overall — Tags: , , , — admin @ 1:13 am

As notaries, your job is to make sure that documents get signed and returned to the correct party in a timely fashion. Getting documents signed is easy. It is dealing with difficult clients that is the hard part. So, what do you do when a client is rude?

You can politely apologize about whatever they are complaining about. You can try to refer them to the Lender or Title company if there is a problem with certain documents as well. The main thing is to assure them that you are “just the notary” and your job is to make sure the documents get signed. If there is a problem with the documents, please take that up with the party who is responsible for the error.

Or othertimes the rudeness will be completely unrelated to the documents. The borrowers might have a rude dog that goes yap yap yap, and growls at you right around your toes. This can be very disconcerting for those of us who are cat people and not dog people. Dog lovers don’t normally respect the fact that not everybody likes dogs. They can become very rude right away if you voice any dislike of their dog’s hostile behavior. I personally think that people who have viscious dogs were antagonistic dogs in their past lives and don’t realize how unpleasant dog behavior can be.

It is common for borrowers to be rude to other family members and to just make rude conversation to the notary. It is best to ignore this behavior. It is best to respond to rudeness with politeness.

The biggest mistake that notaries make is to reciprocate rudeness. This is where they get complaints. The borrower can be rude to them and get away with it, but if the notary is rude back, they get in trouble. It is the same with me. My clients are often rude to me and regard that is their inalienable right. But, if I throw it back in their face, then I am the bad guy! Then, there are notaries who are rude when writing commentary about signing companies on social media. Be careful — people are watching. There are a lot of signing companies who are fed up with rude notaries and will use any excuse to blacklist you!

Basically:
Be a good Christian and turn the other cheek
If you are not Christian, then do as good Christians would do, and turn the other cheek
If the situation gets out of hand, it might be time to walk out on the signing and contact the signing company. We all have limits.
In short — turn the other cheek, but don’t get cruscified, otherwise people will say, “That Joe the Notary… he SIGNED for our sins: yes he did, yes he did, yes he did!

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Rude Notaries?
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January 3, 2011

A Notary Union — how would that work?

Filed under: General Articles,Popular on Facebook (comments),Popular on Facebook (shares),Popular on Facebook (some),Popular on Linked In — Tags: — admin @ 11:54 pm

One Notary wanted a Notary Union. But, would a union help? What would happen? He wanted rates fixed at $150 per signing. It’s not legal to fix rates and $150 is too high.

Contracts
Signing companies would have to sign a contract with the union if they wanted to get some of the better veteran signing agents. Most or many veterans would join the union. The companies that hired union Notaries would only be able to hire union Notaries, and with a long term contract at ridiculous prices. Meanwhile the non-union signing companies would be able to hire anyone who wasn’t a union Notary. The problem here is that Title companies are only willing to pay so much. And if the union had a meeting where they were going to raise their rate to $160 per signing, they would virtually put the signing company out of business.

This is similar to what happened with car manufacturers and manufacturing in the Midwest which moved permanently to China leaving the union guys without a job at all. Unions helped certain Midwesterners and people in other parts of the country make extra money for about two or three decades by artificially controlling market conditions — and then the mother companies discovered a place called Asia and the party was over which led to mass unemployment.

Union Fees
Notaries would have to pay union fees, and go to union meetings. Very few Notaries make it to the NNA annual conference, so how will they make it to meetings? Notaries have so little money already, how will they pay fees? Most are not even full-time?

Corruption
Unions basically give privelege to a few of the workers, but do not help workers as a whole. In Boston in the 1980’s, certain more established classes of workers gained privelege to union jobs while Blacks and Puerto Ricans were generally left out until affirmative action became more prevelant. There is also a lot of power politics going in within unions for control. To me, unions are mafia-like power grabbing organizations which force companies to pay an elite group of workers above market level wages. This leaves those without social favor out of the picture and bankrupts companies in the long run. In the long run unions lead to unemployment, unfairness and misery.

The Solution
So, what is the solution to unfair wages? Markets! Fair and open markets solve all wage related problems. With open markets you get paid what you are worth. The problems the Notaries are facing these days is that there are lots of unskilled people who can do Notary work. They might not do a good job, but they can function with guidance. The skills of highly skilled Notaries are no longer valued like in the old days, and that is why the market hires too many unskilled Notaries and doesn’t pay the worthwhile Notaries enough — at least until signing companies come to their senses.

The Cause of the Problem
Part of the reason this is the case is because there are SO FEW highly skilled and reliable Notaries, that you can’t base your business model on only hiring the best. You might get a few “best” notaries, and the rest will be slouches! That is not a consistent business model. Most Notaries on 123notary just don’t know their documents, don’t know what information is where, and don’t know what to do if there is trouble. Most of our Notaries make a lot of claims of how good they are, but really only 250 Elite Certified Notaries on 123notary are hot stuff in my opinion. Those ultra-experienced and highly educated stampers are worth $150 per signing in most cases. The “regular” 123notary certified Notaries are worth about $100 per signing (in my opinion) and the un-123notary certified Notaries are worth $50. If you don’t know anything and have hardly any experience, why should you be paid much more than minimum wage?

My issue is NOT that Notaries are not paid a decent wage. My issue is that the 250 Elite Certified Notaries on our site who merit a better wage are not usually getting it. As for the uncertified majority, the fact that you get work at all is a miracle. I personally would not hire someone who couldn’t pass my test. My test doesn’t guarantee that you are a great Notary — however, it determines that you are at least worth trying and have potential and know your basics.

If it were up to me, anyone who didn’t pass our elite test wouldn’t be allowed to do any signing agent work. After all, this is a serious profession where you routinely handle half million dollar loans. Why hire someone who is any less than highly qualified for such critical work?

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The Notary Union raises it’s rates and alienates its notaries!
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Minimum wage for Notaries
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How much do you merit as a signing agent?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19188

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Comedic Notary Pricing from Apo-steal-of-a-deal to Zilch (not getting paid).

Filed under: Andy Cowan,Comprehensive Guides,Humorous Posts — Tags: — admin @ 9:04 pm

Comedic Notary Pricing from Apo-steal-of-a-deal to Zilch (not getting paid).

Getting paid is serious business. But in this blog, we’re going “goofy.”

REVERSE MORTGAGES

Segagtrom. So much for literally reversing “mortgages.” In the reverse mortgage I’ll be referring to here, you get paid before you do the signing. If they don’t pay you ahead of time, charge 150 bucks. If they don’t pay you that, reverse the charges on the UPS. You can also drive in reverse to the signing. Unless you happen to be in a parking lot, in which case backing up causes serious tire damage. I can back that up in a notarized statement.

INSPECTIONS

When you inspect a house by taking photos, if it’s cheesy looking, tell it to smile and say cheese. If there are lines from broken plaster on the wall they don’t want you to shoot, charge them extra to Photoshop the lines out. Charge twenty to thirty dollars for inspection, unless the photos need touchup. When you visit their restroom and inspect their medicine cabinet, charge them a snooping fee.

REFINANCING

When getting signatures for mortgage signings, charge them a
re-re-re-re-re-refinancing fee if the signer stutters.

EDOCS OR DOCUMENTS

Ink is to a printer what cocaine is to a dealer. The first sample is free, and then they have you hooked on a very expensive habit. So be sure to charge accordingly for depleting your ink supply as you type out documents. Make sure they don’t pay you with money they printed out on their printers. Although the ink would probably be worth more than the money.

TRAVEL FEE FOR MOBILE NOTARIES

It’s been years since doctors made house calls. If you’re making a house call to notarize something, you better make sure you’re compensated for such service. Some charge by the mile, some charge by the amount of time to get there. As for the comedic price list, charge them like Dominos Pizza. They’ll get a free signing if you don’t arrive within thirty minutes or less. And when you do arrive, make sure you act extra cheesy. And top it off with an extra signature. If the signing is late at night, charge them a surcharge. If they treat you with disrespect, charge them a you-forgot-to-call-me “sir” charge.

LATE FEES

If they’re not ready for you when you arrive for the signing, charge them a late fee. If they’re not ready for you when you arrive because they’re dead, charge the next-of-kin a late, late fee. If it’s so late that it’s technically the wee hours of the morning, charge them an early fee. If they can’t pay you till tomorrow, charge them a late fee for the early fee. If they can’t pay you till after the both of you sit down and finish watching an old movie on TV, charge them a late, late show late fee for the early fee.

WAITING FEES

The more you wait to be paid, the more you charge them. If you wait till hell freezes over, charge them a waiting/defrosting fee. You’re like a taxi stuck in park with the meter running. If they haven’t reached the destination yet but they’re still your client, that will cost them. That should give you a lift. (Or for the cabbie and Uber haters out there, “Lyft”)

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A comprehensive guide to Notary pricing
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Protecting yourself with a contract
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How Notary work is similar to online dating

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Popular on Facebook (A little) — Tags: , , — admin @ 11:52 am

I read some material on how Aziz Ansari was talking about online dating and comparing it to applying for jobs. After reading his commentary, I feel that online dating can be similar to Notary work as well. Here are some scenarios.

After the Signing
After you finish the signing, should you call the borrower to tell them how much you liked the signing or should you text them? This depends on the age of the borrower. If the borrower is in their twenties, definately text them. But, if they are forty or over, don’t text them as they’ll probably prefer a call.

NOTARY: “luved the signing, tx”

On the other hand, if you are going to use broken English in your text, the borrower might get the wrong impression. It might be more professional to say,

NOTARY: “I had a wonderful time at the signing. Would it be possible to sign with you again?”

SIGNER: “I’ll think about it. But, I’m signing with other people these days.”

NOTARY: “Is it anything serious? Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I’m prying.”

Having Too Many Choices
One researcher who Aziz commented on learned that having more choices doesn’t make you happier. Life is sometimes easier when we only have a few choices. As a Notary, this is too true. Notaries who are wanted by hundreds of signing companies can never decide if they want to accept the job. What if a better offer comes in? It’s comparable to a beautiful girl at a dance hall. She has so many choices, she not only can’t decide, but takes them for granted. But, from a Notary point of view, it would be easier if all of the offers for signings came in at once, perhaps five at a time. You could pick two that you liked best based on their profile, and forget the rest. I think this business would be much more interesting if you could view an online profile of each borrower — their likes and dislikes, signing preferences, and interests.

NOTARY: So, what do you like to do on the first signing?

SIGNER: I like to sign on the table. Actually sitting on the table. What about you?

NOTARY: I prefer the sofa. If you have a clip board, it is much more relaxing. But, I hate it when you sit on the floor and use the coffee table.

SIGNER: I know… So, what are you doing after the signing?

NOTARY: Not much. Your place or mine? BTW, what’s your place like?

SIGNER: Well, we’re already at my place, so look around. But, since we’re already here, let’s do more sitting on the table. Cool. That’s my thing!

Opening Up
Some Notaries are just too serious at the signing. If you want the signers to open up, you need to be less serious. Instead of discussing the prepayment penalty. Get to know them a little better by discussing your last trip to the circus, or what happened on your last date. Or tell them about funny things that happened on your way to the signing. It’s always awkward on a first signing. So, learn the techniques of making your first signing less awkward.

Put yourself in the Notary’s shoes
Sometimes it might be easier if the borrower put themselves in the Notary’s shoes. They should realize that it is his first time signing with you. He doesn’t know you. He doesn’t know how he’ll react to you. Sure, he read your profile and knows how much you like borrower and signing pieces of paper. Also, try to understand all the different houses the Notary needs to go to and how demanding the job is.

What not to do on the first signing
One Notary did a signing for a borrower who was a little bit forward.

SIGNER: Would you like a Hershey’s kiss at the end of the signing.

NOTARY: “Sorry, I don’t accept Hershey’s kisses on the first signing — I’m not that kind of Notary!”

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Tony Soprano Gets Notarized

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: — admin @ 9:46 am

NOTARY: Boy, what a long trip, and the traffic was terrible.

TONY: I understand. I’ve had a lot of trouble recently with traffic myself. Everytime I get stuck in traffic the only thought that runs through my head is, “where is that ambulance from heaven that I can follow.”

NOTARY: Isn’t that illegal?

TONY: It ain’t illegal if you don’t get caught. Besides… I know people. Capiche? (gives the notary two light avuncular slaps)

NOTARY: I’m not sure if I’m at a notariation or in a Good Fella’s movie.

TONY: It’s a little of both I guess when you’re around here. So.. let’s get started.

NOTARY: Do you have a document you need notarized? Can I see it?

TONY: I got it right here, safe and sound in my violin case. I’m from a very musical family. You know?

NOTARY: Yes, I can see that. There seem to be many violin cases around here. Do you know a good place I can get my bow rehaired?

TONY: Your what?

NOTARY: My bow. I’m a Violist.

TONY: Violist?

NOTARY: You know the instrument that looks like a violin, but is slightly bigger?

TONY: Oh yeah… the viola. I know what that is. But, you’re on your own. I don’t know no bow hair fixer uppers. My violins are strictly for looks purposes only, eh?

NOTARY: I understand. Just for show. Kind of like when I try to play the Khachaturian or Paganini concertos.

TONY: Oh yeah. I know Paganini. I dated his sister for a while. It didn’t end too good though. One of the uncles threatened me.

NOTARY: Did he threaten to forbid you from playing the violin again?

TONY: Not exactly. Let’s put it this way, he owns a concrete business.

NOTARY: Oh, well you won’t be able to play the violin again if he does what I think he was implying.

TONY: Never could in the first place. Okay, here’s the document — oh shoot, I’m running low on ammo. I didn’t realize. Thank God we’re doing this.

NOTARY: Ammo? You keep ammo in the violin case? When I go out to play a concert, I always keep my ammo in a separate bag from my viola case.

TONY: To each his own. Sometimes you don’t want the ammo getting separated from your instruments — you know what I mean?

NOTARY: Okay… we have the document entitled, “I won’t go anywhere’s near Giuseppe or the rest of you’s guys.” Okay, great. Can I see some ID?

TONY: Take your pick! (hands out twelve ID”s like a fan of cards.

NOTARY: Oh, I see. Let me close my eyes. Hmmm. I think I’ll pick…. this one… By the way, which one is the real one so I don’t have to have you arrested for fraud.

TONY: Oh, they’re all real.

NOTARY: What I mean was, which one was issued by the DMV here.

TONY: Oh, that kind of real. Dis one!

NOTARY: Now we’re in business. Now, please sign the document as Tony Soprano, and sign the journal the same way. I’ll need thumbprints too.

TONY: I have DNA samples in my other violin case just in case you’re interested.

NOTARY: Is it your DNA or DNA you’re planting.

TONY: Once again — take your pick!

NOTARY: Okay, I’ve filled out the form, I’m affixing my seal…. done… You know something. After meeting you, I’d like to keep my notary seal, journal, and ammunition (ink refill) in a violin case — and also wear a black shirt, white tie, and pin stripe suit.

TONY: You can call your operation, “Just got made Notarizations.” Just don’t try to do no notarizations in Bensonhurst. You’ll be cutting into Guido’s territory. He’s incharge of all the notarizations down there. Bad things could happen if you venture down there. Understand?

NOTARY: I think I got it. I’ll just stick to Connecticut for now. Have a nice day and stay out of trouble.

TONY: I think I’ll be safe with this document notarized. Now my ex-girlfriend’s family will feel safe…

NOTARY: Never mind — I’m not even going to ask.

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If you were hiring a Notary, what would you look for?

Filed under: Marketing Articles — Tags: , , , , — admin @ 9:37 am

Most Notaries are missing the point. They know how good they are or how good they think they are. However, they do not understand the perspective of someone looking for a Notary. A skilled shopper has dealt with thousands of Notaries and can cut through the fluff in your profile faster than you can say backdate. The point is not how good you think you are, but creating the right impression so that pro Title companies think that you are the right type of Notary.

I heave dealt with 40,000 Notaries in my career. I see right through the fluff. The minute someone describes themself as professional or reliable, the only thought that goes through my head is that this person has nothing of value to say, so they substitute baseless adjectives for real information. A Notary who is “all that” would have something of substance to say about themselves. They would describe the types of loans they know how to sign and have something worthwhile about how they do their job.

What I hate most is how Notaries spend three paragraphs telling you how all client information will be held confidential and the integrity of the signing is of utmost importance. This tells me nothing except that you know how to waste space telling me a bunch of fluff. Obviously the information is confidential unless you are an identity thief. But, the identity thief is not going to advertise that they are going to sell your client’s information, are they? So, stick to useful facts.

If I can read three paragraphs of your writing and immediately tell that you are a person with experience and knowledge, I might just call you. The ones who write the fluff will not get called unless they have some certifications from agencies that I have faith in — like my own!

The people who browse 123notary are looking for:

1. Current reviews — not reviews from 2011

2. A well written notes section — not a notes section with lots of fluff and self-aggrandizing adjectives

3. General Facts. Facts about what you know how to do, where you go, who you are a member of, equipment, etc.

4. Well organized information. You might have all the facts, but if they are in a jumble, nobody wants to read that.

5. No mistakes — if you make spelling or grammar mistakes, that is proof to me that you will make mistakes on a signing — and don’t try to talk your way out of that. It is a proven fact!

6. Uniqueness — if you can say something interesting and classy about yourself that others cannot say, that counts for you. People are tired of reading what looks like copied and pasted notes sections that look generic. Most notes sections could be true of thousands of Notaries on any directory. So, by being refreshingly unique in a fun and cool way, you attract others.

7. 123notary.com certification — people who use our site want OUR certification, NOT NNA’s. It doesn’t hurt to have NNA”s, but everyone else has it, so it won’t make you stand out. Only the cream of the crop can pass our test, so it proves yourself.

8. High Placement — high placement isn’t free, and browsers know that. If you put your money where it counts, people will respect how serious and dedicated you are. So, spend some money and get a good spot on 123notary if you take your business seriously.

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Notary state of the union address
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The Starbucks notary wises up!

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts,Ninja Theme Articles,Popular on Twitter 2011,Popular Overall — admin @ 9:03 am

Our notary got stood up at Starbucks the other day, and did what Bostonians call “wising up”. The next night, our notary friend was too tired to travel, unless the price was right. But, he got a call.

9pm… ring ring.
Notary service

Hi, my name is Jim, are you a “notary republic?”
A republic is a country. I am not a country, I am a notary, and I am open to the public — and the public is you
Oh… (long pause). Can you notarize a document?
Yes, that is what I do.
I don’t want to pay a travel fee.
No problem. Meet me at my local Starbucks. Can you come right now?
Sure… Where are you?

I’m in Glendale, how far are you from Glendale?
About 20 minutes.

Great, meet me at 9:20… I can’t schedule after that in case I get a paying job with a travel fee. If I schedule later than that, I might have to give up a $100 job in order to accomodate your $10 job. Understand?
Sure, I guess.

9:15… ring ring
Notary: Hi Jim
Customer: It is not Jim, I am Samuel. We need a notary tonight in Burbank. We are going on a trip and need travel documents. We can pay you $100 travel fee if you can do two signatures included.

Notary: Speak of the devil, I just told my last client that I might get a $100 job tonight. It is the power of positive thinking. Tomorrow night I am going to tell everyone that I might get a $200 job.
Customer: Why stop at $200 — go for $300, just as long as I am not paying!

Notary: So, when do you need service by?
Customer: We are leaving at 11pm, so get over here as soon as you can.
Notary: I have a 9:20pm appointment at Starbucks. If he doesn’t show up on time, I’ll just come on over and should be there before 10pm. If he shows up, I’ll tell him that his appointment is 10 minutes and that I have to run, in which case I’ll be there around 10pm.
Customer: Super.

So, the Starbucks notary meanders down to his favorite hang out spot — Starbucks — of course — isn’t it all of our favorites?
He waits until 9:20pm and then gives three minutes grace period just in case Jim didn’t synchronize his watch to nuclear time. At 9:23 Starbucks notary leaves just as he sees a nervous guy who lacked confidence driving up. Starbucks notary thought — I don’t have time for this, the guy didn’t even call to let me know he was close. So, our notary friend drives off to Burbank. Meanwhile keeping the phone by his side, he anxiously waits for his #1 client to call him and wonder where he was. But, the phone didn’t ring.

At 9:34 our speedy notary arrives at the destination at Burbank, CA. He notary bag by his side, he energetically prances towards the front door. Samual greets him with his document all ready, and five crisp new twenty dollar bills eagerly waiting to be received by our notary friend. The notary checks their identification, takes paw prints, notarizes their signatures, collected his money, and by 9:41 is ready to leave with his wallet fat with cash and then…

ring ring…
Ummm. this is Jim… didn’t we have an appointment at Starbucks?
Notary: Yes Jim, We had a 9:20 appointment and I was at Starbucks waiting for you, but you didn’t show up. I had a conflicting appointment. If I had waited for you, I would have missed my other appointment — and they were ready to go — and not late like you.

Oh… I didn’t realize I was late. I showed up at 9:24.
Notary: You didn’t confirm that you were nearby, and I had to go. But, on a brighter note, I am coming back, and I can meet you at Starbucks in about nine minutes.
Jim: I don’t think I like how this arrangement is going
Notary: Well, I am the one who kept my end of the bargain at the risk of losing a much more lucrative job. You were the one who would have made me late. Maybe it is I who should be the one who doesn’t like the arrangement — hmmm?
Jim: Never mind, I’ll just go home and get it notarized tomorrow by another “noterizer”. Good bye!
Notary: Well, you got a free travel fee out of me. I traveled from my house to Starbucks. My fee is $10 travel fee. You can mail me a check for my trouble.
Jim: No way… besides, I’m the one who did most of the driving… see-ya.

Tweets:
(1) A client wanted to save $ & agreed to meet the notary at Starbucks, but kept the notary waiting for 45 minutes.
(2) The notary waited until 9:20 for his $10 client to show, then had to run to a $100 paying gig!
(3) When you wait for a client to show up who’s late, ur held hostage w/o waiting fees or travel fees.
(4) If customers come 2u, let’em know if they don’t show up on time, they’ll only have 3 minutes grace period.

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Sign-Feld: The List!

Filed under: Sit-Coms — Tags: , , — admin @ 4:24 am

Kramer becomes a notary and wants to learn to market himself. So, he calls Carmen on 123notary.com. Giddy-up!

KRAMER: Carmen, it’s Cosmo. Okay, I want in. What do I need to get started?

CARMEN: You need a listing on 123notary.com, a loan signing course and a list of signing companies.

KRAMER: Whoa, Nellie. I don’t have time for lists.

CARMEN: Yes Kramer — a list. You need to get signed up with all of the good companies on the list.

KRAMER: Do I need to part with any hard-earned cash to get this list?

CARMEN: What hard-earned cash?

KRAMER: Answer the question.

CARMEN: Don’t tell anybody else that I told you this, but the list is actually on sale — for free now. Just go to our blog!

KRAMER: Your blog? Oooh. I like blogs. What’s your blog address?

CARMEN: Just go to 123notary.com and click on the orange icon near the top of the screen.

KRAMER: Orange. Sinatra’s favorite color! And do I need to pass a test or something?

CARMEN: Just study from the loan signing course and then you can take our online test whenever you’re ready. It’s six and a half minutes long, so be prepared

KRAMER: I was a boy scout. I’m always prepared.

KRAMER: Jerry, you’ll never guess what I’m doing now.

JERRY: You became part of a traveling circus and you’re on your way to CVS to get more clown makeup?

KRAMER: Not exactly, but you’re right about the traveling part. I’m now officially a traveling notary.

JERRY: Really, so how does that work? Considering you never travel out of your apartment.

KRAMER: Well, you go to people’s houses to help them sign documents. Then I stamp the documents.

ELAINE: Are they stamp-worthy?

KRAMER: They’re the only kind I attach my good name to.

JERRY: I thought they attach their name.

KRAMER: They do. Come watch. It’ll be fun.

ELAINE: (laughs) Can I watch Jerry watch?

JERRY: Forget it. I’m too busy to watch or be watched.

KRAMER: Are you too intimidated by the notion of learning the art of the stamp, Jerry? Maybe you’re… above it all? Are you… too funny in that borderline whimsical standup way of yours to learn a notary’s tricks of the trade?

JERRY: All right. Spill it already. What do I need to learn to become a notary?

KRAMER: I’m not letting you in on my secret.

JERRY: Secret? What secret?

(later at Monk’s diner)

JERRY: Hey George. Have you noticed Kramer acting a little funny lately?

GEORGE: Funny in that borderline whimsical standup way?

JERRY: I’ve crossed that border into full whimsy! Did Kramer mention anything about some secret he was keeping?

GEORGE: He just was babbling about some mobile notary thing. It sounds like a big scam to me.

JERRY: Did he mention anything else about it?

GEORGE: Just that it might be a great way to meet women, and something about a list.

JERRY: A list?

GEORGE: Not sure. The only time I remember something is when I write it down on a list.

JERRY: Why would Kramer be keeping a list?

GEORGE: Hey, if I became a Notary, do you think I could meet women?

JERRY: If you were Hugh Heffner, you couldn’t meet women!

(Later back at Jerry’s apartment…)

(Newman ENTERS.)

NEWMAN: Hello…Jerry.

JERRY: Hello…Newman. What brings your overgrown carcass here?

NEWMAN: I’m here to speak with Kramer about a private matter.

JERRY: The only thing you keep private is your cholesterol level.

NEWMAN: It’s 360 – So there! (handing list to Kramer) Here’s the people on my mail route going through a divorce.

KRAMER: (handing over to Newman) Here’s your embosser.

JERRY: Wait a minute. You two are in cahoots? Don’t tell me Newman’s becoming a notary.

NEWMAN: I’ve already become one. I hand people their mail. Why shouldn’t I hand them papers to sign and make double the coin? (Fiendishly laughs)

JERRY: (to Kramer) Newman’s list of troubled marriages? That’s your list?

KRAMER: Just one of them. Now when people sign their divorce papers, who do you think will be there to officiate?

JERRY: Newman, that’s who.

NEWMAN: I resent that, Seinfeld. You’re implying I’d usurp Kramer.

JERRY: I’m not implying anything, Newman. You’d cheat Kramer as fast as you’d cheat your starving mother out of a glazed doughnut!

NEWMAN: Not till I make it… (waving embosser) official. (Fiendishly laughs)

(2 hours later)

JERRY: George, I found out what one of the lists is. It’s a list of newly divorced people on Newman’s mail route.

GEORGE: Newly divorced people on his mail route? What does he, reading their dear John letters?

JERRY: I think dear John is for breaking up. By the time you’re at the divorce stage, nobody callin’ anybody “dear.” What is that other list?

GEORGE: I think I overheard him talking to Carmen at 123notary about it. She’ll know. Just call the number on 123notary.com.

JERRY: I’m impressed George. You remembered something that wasn’t on a list.

GEORGE: (pulls out a list from his pocket) Well, I had a little help.

JERRY: I’m going to call Carmen. (ring-ring)

CARMEN: 123notary, this is Carmen.

JERRY: Carmen, it’s Jerry Seinfeld.

CARMEN: You can’t be Jerry Seinfeld. Seinfeld would have his people call me.

JERRY: I have no people. I find it’s a lot easier not remembering people’s birthdays. You gotta tell me. You know about the list. Kramer knows about the list. I wanna know about the list!

CARMEN: Hmm, I do remember talking to a gentleman named Cosmo yesterday calling from your area code. I gave him instructions for how to visit our blog on 123notary.com and find the 2014 list of best signing companies. Just click on the orange button at the top right of the screen and then click on the category in our blog for good signing companies. Scroll, and you’ll find it.

JERRY: Carmen, if I did have people in my life — you’d be one of them. I’m online now. I’m clicking the orange button… where is that link… here it is! I’m scrolling. There is no list like this. There are the good signing companies, but not best. What happened to the list?

CARMEN: It was dated September 27th.

JERRY: I’m right there. There is no list.

CARMEN: Jeremy must have taken it down. You’ll have to take this up with him by email.

(Kramer slides in)

JERRY: What happened to that list?

KRAMER: You mean George’s crib sheet?

JERRY: You know what list I’m talking about Kramer. I checked with Carmen, and they took the list down!

KRAMER: I’m listless, Jerry. I sold my list. And I won’t say to who. The documents aren’t the only thing sealed. So are my lips.

JERRY: What are you telling me Kramer?

KRAMER: It’s the list Jerry, the list. I may have sold it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still have it.

JERRY: Can you share the list? Just this one time?

KRAMER: Oh no, I can’t. I can’t share the list.

JERRY: Oh come on!

ELAINE: Guess who I just saw outside?

JERRY: I don’t go outside. There are too many people out there.

ELAINE: I saw Newman. I don’t know what he was staring at more worshipfully, his tuna sub, or this piece of paper he was staring at.

JERRY: I’m following him. (Jerry goes outside) Newman! You’re the one with the list.

NEWMAN: That’s right Jerry. (driving off in his convertible while waving the list in the air)

.

You might also like:

Seinfeld — George’s parents get a vow renewal
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15132

The Seinfeld episode about a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10208

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January 2, 2011

Threatening for payment?

Filed under: Carmen Towles,Popular on Facebook (A little),Popular on Twitter 2011,Popular Overall 2011,Posts With Many Comments,Ultra-Popular — Tags: , , , — admin @ 7:44 pm

Taking the job
I dont like to do a job and then have to threaten folks to get paid. It goes against my general fiber and overall nature. I excel at what I do and expect to paid accordingly.  I took a job toward the end of the month (May). It was a settlement company. You know the ones that broker the rich and famous insurance polices that are worth 4 or 5 million and they pay out  a fraction of what they are worth, and then wait for them to  die so they can collect the full value of the policy. This is similar to JG Wentworth’s policies.

Agreeing on a fee
Well, we agree on a handsome fee of 150.00. I successfully complete the assignment.  Nothing eventful and everything went well. I was even early..:)  After the completion of the assignment, I completed a W-9 and submitted an invoice and patiently waited. After about 2 weeks I emailed my contact on a Monday and was told that I would have payment toward the  end of the following week.  My eyebrows cautiously started to rise, but, I understand company billing policies, so I let it go. By the following week on Thursday there was no check. I emailed once again, and the reply I got was that they had missed the cut off and I would receive a check at least by the next Friday.

Contacting the signing company’s client for payment?
Now, I am becoming VERY angry. So I wrote back that this sounds very much like the run around to me and it is unacceptable . I also let them know that if forced I will have to take matters into my own hands meaning that if I don’t receive payment ASAP I will be contacting their client for payment. With correspondence sent I waited. The following afternoon I receive a brief response. and I quote  “Carmen, accounting pushed your check and it’s in the mail” And I thought to myself. Great BUT why did I have to be strung along and lied to in the first place. Why didn’t you just cut the check and be done with it.  It has been a month already. Why did I have to threaten you and worse  yet  now our relationship has been strained and severed. I am confident they will never call me again Nor do I want them to. I don’t want to have to put up a fight to get paid. If I perform a job without incident and give it 100% with no error on my part I except to get paid. PERIOD. I have every right to expect this. We have every right to expect this!!!

It is a shame that we have to resort to all sorts of threats, trickery, letters/emails phone calls, etc just to get our money. This is a job in itself and It is very time consuming to keep up with these slow or no pay companies.

In closing, I know the task itself is hard but you have got to stay on top of it. As one of our notaries expressed to me…the longer you wait to try an collect the more likely you never will see a dime…..and this is the sad truth. PLEASE Check out these companies when you can BEFOREHAND.  It is not entirely foolproof but it can help weed out some of the bad ones before it costs you in time and money! Be on top of your billing, comply with all their billing request, such as W-9’s and start the collection process early.

Until next time….(now lets play the waiting game and see if the check actually shows up…lol)

Tweets:
(1) Their excuse was that they missed the cut-off and would pay up next Friday!
(2) She threatened to go to the client if they didn’t pay ASAP & then they paid promptly!

You might also like:

Notary Marketing 102 – A guide to getting paid
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19794

Does having reviews make it easier to get paid?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3227

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