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January 27, 2023

How to Start a Mobile Notary Business in 2023

Filed under: General Articles — Tags: , — Tom Wilkins @ 12:00 pm

Starting a mobile notary business in 2023 is a great way to provide valuable service to your community while running a successful and profitable business. As a mobile notary, you can work from anywhere, set your own schedule, and serve many clients.

Get Commissioned

The first thing you will need to do to start a mobile notary business is to become a commissioned notary public. This typically involves passing a background check, taking a notary education course, and passing a notary exam. Once you are a commissioned notary public, you will need to purchase a surety bond, a type of insurance that protects your clients in case of errors or omissions on your part.

Create a Business Plan

Next, you’ll need to create a business plan. As a notary or signing agent, you know that success in your business requires more than just showing up on time and having the right documents. Taking the extra step to create a mobile notary business plan can go a long way toward helping you achieve your goals and make your work even more successful. There is much to consider, from generating leads to determining pricing structures when writing up your plan.

Invest in the Proper Tools & Equipment

Once your business plan is complete, you must invest in the necessary equipment and supplies to run your mobile notary business. This includes a professional-grade seal and stamp, a journal to record your notarial acts, and a reliable means of transportation to travel to your clients. You will also want to invest in a good-quality printer, scanner, and computer to handle all the paperwork required to do your job.

Market Your Notary Business

Marketing is essential when you start a mobile notary business to ensure a steady stream of clients. You will need to create a website and social media presence to showcase your services and offer discounts and promotions to attract new clients. You should also consider networking with other notaries, real estate agents, attorneys, and other professionals who can refer clients to you.

Ongoing Education

Another important aspect of starting a mobile notary business is to stay up-to-date with the laws and regulations regarding notary services in your state. Each state has different rules and regulations regarding notaries, so it is important to stay informed and comply with all applicable laws. You should also consider joining a professional organization, such as the National Notary Association, which can provide you with training and resources to help you run your business.

How Much Will You Charge for Your Services?

Finally, it’s important to have a clear pricing strategy for your mobile notary business. You will want to research the going rates for mobile notary services in your area and set your prices accordingly. You may also want to offer package deals or volume discounts to attract repeat clients.

Create Your Own Success in 2023

In summary, starting a mobile notary business in 2023 is a great way to provide a valuable service to your community while also running a successful and profitable business. The key steps are to become a commissioned notary public, invest in the necessary equipment and supplies, market your business effectively, stay up-to-date with laws and regulations, and have a clear pricing strategy. With the right approach and hard work, you can start a mobile notary business that will provide a steady income for Notaries/Signings for years to come.

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January 20, 2023

13 Auto Maintenance Tips for Mobile Notaries

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Tom Wilkins @ 5:22 pm

As a mobile notary, you know that there’s no such thing as a “typical day.” Document signings can take you all over town and beyond, making reliable transportation one of your most essential assets. To ensure your car stays in top shape and can safely accommodate the on-the-go lifestyle of a mobile notary – or any busy professional – here are some easy auto maintenance tips for mobile notaries!

1. Check Your Tires & Air Pressure

One of the most important things you can do to maintain your car is to check your tires regularly. You should check the tread depth and air pressure of all four tires at least once a month. If you notice any bald spots or low air pressure, take care of it immediately.

2. Check All Fluids Monthly

In addition to oil and brake fluid, several other fluids must be checked periodically. These include coolant, transmission, power steering, and windshield washer fluid. It’s important to check all these fluids monthly to ensure they are at the proper levels.

3. Change Your Oil & Filter

Another important thing to do is to change your oil regularly. Depending on the make and model of your car, you may need to change your oil every 3,000 miles or every 5,000 miles. Consult your owner’s manual to find out what is best for your car.

4. Rotate Your Tires Every 5,000 Miles

Tire rotation is important because it helps to distribute wear and tear on all four tires evenly. As a result, rotating your tires will help them last longer and improve your car’s handling.

5. Change Your Air Filter Every 12,000 Miles

The air filter helps remove impurities from the engine’s air. Over time, the air filter becomes clogged with dirt and debris over time, reducing engine power and efficiency. As a result, it’s important to change the air filter every 12,000 miles.

6. Get Regular Tune-Ups

It is also important to get regular tune-ups for your car. This means taking it to a mechanic to check the engine and be serviced as needed. How often you need a tune-up will depend on the make and model of your car, but it is generally recommended that you get one every 30,000 miles or so.

7. Flush Your Radiator Every 24,000 Miles

The radiator helps to keep the engine cool by circulating coolant throughout the engine block. Over time, the coolant becomes contaminated with dirt and debris, which can clog the radiator and cause overheating. Therefore, it’s important to flush the radiator every 24,000 miles to prevent engine damage.

8. Inspect Your Brakes Regularly

Brake pads wear down over time and must be replaced periodically to ensure proper braking performance. Additionally, brake fluid should be flushed and replaced every few years to prevent corrosion and maintain proper braking performance. Therefore, it’s important to inspect your brakes regularly to keep them in good condition.

9. Inspect Your Belts and Hoses Regularly

Belts and hoses can become brittle over time due to wear and tear, breaking or becoming loose. As a result, it’s important to inspect your belts and hoses regularly to prevent problems.

10. Don’t Ignore Warning Lights

If any warning lights come on in your car, take notice and take care of the problem immediately. This is one of the most important auto maintenance tips for mobile notaries because ignoring them can lead to bigger problems down the road, so it’s always best to nip them in the bud as soon as possible.

11. Get Your Car Inspected Regularly

Finally, be sure to get your car inspected on a regular basis by a qualified mechanic. This will help ensure that any potential problems are caught early on before they have a chance to cause serious damage

12. Keep Your Car Clean

One simple way to prolong the life of your car is to keep it clean, both inside and out. This means washing it regularly and vacuuming the interior on a regular basis. You should also avoid eating or drinking in your car, as this can lead to stains and crumbs that are difficult to remove.

13. Be Mindful of Your Driving Habits

The way you drive can also impact the longevity of your car. For example, if you frequently accelerate quickly or brake hard, this can put unnecessary wear and tear on your car’s engine and brakes. Also, driving in extreme weather conditions (hot or cold) can be tough on your car, so try to avoid this when possible.

Keep Your Vehicle in Top Shape

If you are a commissioned Notary, these auto maintenance tips will help ensure that your car is well-maintained and running as efficiently as possible. Regular maintenance will make your car look better and save you money in the long run. So keep your vehicle in top condition with these thirteen auto maintenance tips for mobile notaries.

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January 13, 2023

Top Mobile Notary Challenges in 2023

As mobile notaries, the world constantly changes and presents new challenges for our profession. Every year, new updates in law and regulations affect our practice. So it’s important to stay informed of what other professionals in the industry are experiencing so we can continue to do our jobs effectively and safely. In this blog post, we’ll be looking at some of the top mobile notary challenges that will likely arise during 2023 – from adapting to digital platforms amidst a global pandemic to keeping up with ever-evolving state laws – as well as how best to prepare for these hurdles ahead!

Increased Regulation and Compliance Requirements

Being a notary public is no small task! With an ever-increasing layer of regulations and compliance requirements to abide by, it’s important for notaries not only to stay up-to-date on laws governing notarial acts but to ensure that their notary service is top-notch. Mobile notaries, traveling notaries, and signing agents provide added convenience for clients seeking notarization services beyond the traditional brick-and-mortar approach. As such, notaries must recognize that increased regulation and compliance requirements come with the territory and be prepared to meet them in areas ranging from personal identification verification to data security protocols. After all, notaries are really providing an invaluable service – one that requires vigilance on their part in order to execute properly.

More States Legalizing Cannabis and Its Impact on Notarizations

With more states legalizing cannabis, notary services have never been in higher demand! From notarizing banking transactions to notarizing documents related to cannabis-related agreements, notaries are rapidly adapting their services to meet these growing demands. Mobile notary and traveling notary services like signing agents make this work possible with flexible scheduling, location options, and quick turnarounds. Today’s notaries are required to understand the effects of cannabis laws within the state they work in—and as more states legalize cannabis, notaries are rising to the challenge with an understanding of not only their state laws but regional ones too. The need for savvy notaries has never been greater!

Increased Use of AI and Other Technologies in the Notary Industry

The notary industry is no exception to the technological advancements in automation, with many notary services embracing advantages like AI and mobile notarization. Mobile notaries provide notarizing convenience to customers by visiting them directly at their homes or workplace instead of the other way around, and they can also perform notarial services remotely. Signing Agents present businesses with many opportunities, such as booking more notary assignments and being away from their office while doing it – improving efficiency while on the move! Automation allows notaries to increase access to and quality of notary services; plus, going digital has enabled notaries to work faster and become more organized. The combination of modern technology and a notary’s expertise creates an efficient yet secure process for all kinds of transactions, making it one of the top mobile notary challenges in 2023.

Continued Growth in Remote Working and Its Effects on Notaries

The notary profession has experienced a seismic shift since the introduction of remote working technology. While notaries have yet to experience the same growth across all sectors, those in the notary public, mobile notary, traveling notary, and signing agent spaces have seen particularly dramatic gains due to their ability to provide notarization services from any physical location. This means that as more companies turn towards remote approaches for workplace operations, notary service providers have seen benefits through increased business. This shift bodes well for notaries looking to expand their services online – something that would have seemed next to impossible for the average signing agent or mobile notary not long ago.

More States Legalizing Digital Notarization

Digital notarization is rapidly becoming the notary norm, quickly changing the traditional notarization landscape. As more states legalize digital notarization, mobile notaries and notary services must evolve to meet the increasingly strict criteria. This means notaries who act as traveling notaries or signing agents will become even more popular, as they are both cost-effective and able to meet the ever-hastening pace of new technology and ideas in the notarization process. Not only that but their expertise and presence in person can help make digital notarization a cinch for both notary and customer alike!

Changes in the Real Estate Market and How They Impact Notaries

When it comes to notary services, the real estate market is at the heart of it. From mobile notaries and signing agents that travel from place to place to notary publics who perform notarizations at their own location, notaries play a large part in helping facilitate transactions for buying and selling a home. So when the real estate market sees changes—be it an increase or decrease in residential sales or rising interest rates—notaries must be ready to adjust their services accordingly. Whether this means taking on more projects if there is an influx of business or partnering with other notaries for added flexibility and capacity, notaries must stay agile as changes come about to maintain their notary business and keep up with the ever-changing landscape of the real estate market.

Expectations as We Move Into 2023

In the past year, we’ve seen more changes in the notary industry than ever. From increased regulation to the legalization of cannabis, there’s been a lot to keep up with. Mobile notary challenges will persist as we move into 2023, and it doesn’t look like things are slowing down any time soon. You can expect continued growth in remote working and digital notarization, as well as changes in the real estate market that will impact notaries across the country. But no matter what challenges arise, one thing remains constant: the quality of the notaries like you who are dedicated to providing excellent service. Thank you for everything you do to ensure that our community thrives!

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January 6, 2023

How to Create a Mobile Notary Business Plan

Creating a mobile notary business plan is important in starting your own business. A mobile notary business offers convenience to customers who need notarization services but need help to reach a physical location. As a mobile notary, you can travel to your clients and provide notary services at their location, making it more convenient for them.

The first step in creating your business plan is researching the market. This will help you understand your area’s demand for mobile notary services and the competition you will face. You will also want to research the regulations and requirements for becoming a notary in your state. Once you have a good understanding of the market and regulations, you can start to develop your business plan. A mobile notary business plan should include the following key elements:

Executive Summary: This should provide an overview of your business and its goals. It should also include a summary of your research and your target market.
Business Description: This should include more detailed information about your business, such as your mission statement, services offered, and competitive advantage.
Market Analysis: This should include information about your target market, including demographics, needs, and buying habits. It should also include information about your competition and how you plan to differentiate yourself.
Operations Plan: This should include information about how your business will operate, acquire customers, and provide notary services.
Financial Plan: This should include financial projections, such as projected income and expenses, and a break-even analysis.
Conclusion: Summarize your business plan

Creating a successful business plan is key to setting your mobile notary business up for success. Knowing the demand for mobile notary services in your area and the competition you will face are important considerations. Moreover, understanding the regulations and requirements of becoming a notary in your state is paramount. Additionally, understanding your target market, operations details, and plans for financial gains can help build a complete business strategy. Ultimately, this approach will provide more insight into setting goals, achieving objectives, and becoming a successful business owner.

Once you have completed your business plan, reviewing it and making any necessary revisions is important. You may also consider seeking feedback from a mentor, business advisor, or other notaries who are experts.

To be successful in the mobile notary business, it’s important to have a solid mobile notary business plan in place. This plan will serve as a roadmap for your business, outlining your goals, strategies, and financial projections. By taking the time to research your market, create a comprehensive business plan, and seek feedback from experts, you will be well on your way to starting a successful mobile notary business.

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January 30, 2022

Don’t park in the driveway?

This article was originally published many years ago.

Don’t Park in the Driveway?
 
This sounds like a dull topic, but the type of responses we get, keep getting better by the day. This issue is the least clear cut, and most confusing issue that notaries face.  Yet, so few notaries ever have this issue cross their mind. 
 
Don’t Park in the Driveway.
Its rude and unprofessional to park in the driveway.  You are leaking fluids on someone’s driveway, preventing them and their family from parking there, and potentially blocking someone.  But, sometimes, there are situations where you should park in the driveway.  You could make several Seinfeld episodes out of this topic.  There is a general rule, and there are dozens of exceptions.
 
(1) I’m confused, isn’t that what driveways are for?  No! The driveway is for the borrower to park in, not the signing agent.  You are a guest, and not the resident.  Don’t park there without permission, and don’t ask permission unlesss you really have to.
 
(2) In regards to “Don’t park in the driveway”, please be aware that many gated communities have banned on-street parking. Check with the homeowner if street parking is allowed when you make the confirmation call. (This is true especially in Florida.)
 
(3) In regards to “Don’t park in the driveway”……where I live most of the time that is ONLY place to park. When I was a new signing agent, that piece of information caused me a lot of stress, but have since realized that I have to do what I have to do. I try not to block in vehicles, but that isn’t always possible.
 
(4) If there is a snow storm, you need to park in the driveway, otherwise the snow plow will cover your car with snow.
 
(5) In rural communities, driveways might be more than a half a mile long, so it behooves you to park in the driveway in such a situation. In winter, it wouldn’t be safe to walk up such a long driveway.
 
(6) Some notaries say, they always park in driveways taking care not to block someone in and never had any trouble. Other notaries say that they would never park in someone’s driveway no matter what.
 
(7) One lady says that a customer complained that she parked in the street instead of the driveway.
 
(8) There might be signs on the street not allowing street parking. That means you are forced to park on the driveway.
 
(9) In some neighborhoods the streets are very narrow, making it a better choice to park in the driveway.
 
The bottom line is that if you value etiquette and manners, and take them to the highest level, just ask where the borrower would like you to park, and then everyone will love you, and might even love your leaking coolant too!

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January 29, 2022

My date with Jeremy

This article was originally published in 2013.

He was striking and utterly took my breath away–like a traffic accident. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He had deep, penetrating gray eyes that seemed to notice everything. His shirt was the color of numbers.

We got out of the car at the restaurant. He took the ticket stub the valet handed him and scrutinized the numbers. “These add up to 33, an excellent number for business,” Jeremy noted. “I hope my good fortune extends to this restaurant as well. Let’s go in and see what’s on the menu.”

The sign above the entrance said Le Jurat.

“How did you pick this restaurant?” I asked.

“I have an algorithm for restaurants,” Jeremy said, opening the door for me.

“How chivalrous!” I replied. I was in awe of him, and I didn’t know what else to say.

“I assess the restaurant according to reviews, how they answer the phone, and zip code… and then I try the food,” he explained. “I test the food before bringing a friend here. Sometimes the reviews don’t match the quality of the service provider. In my opinion, good reviews don’t necessarily translate to good service–but I don’t know if you subscribe to that opinion, Sealia.”

As we were being taken to our table, a woman with frizzed red hair like the bride of Frankenstein ran up to Jeremy, tapped him on the shoulder, and demanded–“My password! I need my password! I can’t get in to update my page!”

Jeremy looked her in the eye and said sternly, “I’m having dinner. I emailed you your password three times in the last few months. You need to request it by email. Not now.”

I wondered exactly what the woman was talking about…and whether this man ever had any time to himself.

The decor of Le Jurat was elegant, parchment beige with traces of pink and gold, and there was no waiting line, yet the restaurant was full–an amazing combination for a Saturday night in Los Angeles. On all the tables, a little sign next to the placemats read, “Customers who subscribe to our newsletter have sworn by us…” The music playing in the background was “I Swear” by John Michael Montgomery…

“When I was choosing restaurants,” Jeremy said slyly, “it was a choice between this place and a Christian Korean place called the Hyung Moon Temple where the signature dish was Stained Glass Noodles.”

I laughed. “So tell me about this business of yours,” I asked. “What exactly do you do for notaries?”

“I provide advertising, education, and entertainment for notaries–visit us on Facebook! I also use algorithms to assess the notaries’ performance and knowledge.”

“I didn’t know Al Gore had rhythm,” I smiled and nodded.

“I didn’t know he had rhythm, either.” His phone rang. “123notary, this is Jeremy” he stated automatically.

“It’s Vicki from Hyung Moon,” he said aloud; “Sorry, Vicki, I have to cancel…I will not be able to make it this evening. I wish to rescind.”

He hung up quietly and said, “I kind of double booked…”

He was just about to smile again when the phone rang–again.

“Hullo,” screeched a voice.

“123notary, this is Jeremy.”

“Are you a notorizor?”

“I used to be a notary but I’m not anymore. Please look on 123notary. I’m the site administrator. Please call a notary on the site. Have a nice night. Goodbye.”

Again the phone rang,
but this time, he glanced at the number and said, “I’m not going to answer now because I’m with you, but I’ll have to call them back in exactly one hour and 56 minutes. That will be the best time to speak with this person who wants to take a phone test. I remember their number and the exact time they said would be optimal to call. That gives us enough time to have our meal and a dessert…before we go to FedEx to finalize the date,” he said, focusing on a tiny spot on the tablecloth.

“FedEx?” I said. “Why FedEx?”

“That’s where my dates always end–at a FedEx drop box.”

We tried to catch the waiter’s attention. “Hey–the waiter didn’t even acknowledge us!” Jeremy quipped. “Do you think our waiter will personally appear before us? I would like to order the Soup du Jurat…and a Certified Angus Burger…I like this restaurant because it’s 24 hours…although they don’t answer the phone after 11…if you want late-night service you have to call before 11… ”

I decided on the Rack of Lamb. “Is that a dual rack or a single?” I asked the waiter, who had finally appeared.

“Well, technically it’s a single rack….but we put in a separator program…so the legal size chops can go on a legal-sized plate.”

“If I don’t like the entree, do I have the right to cancel?” Jeremy demanded.

Finally the waiter delivered the food–and not a minute too soon.

“This lamb is delicious!” I said.

Jeremy ate his certified burger. “This stuff is as good as Kobe beef!” he replied.

“So what is it really like running 123notary?” I asked.

“It’s like dealing with a series of situations that never end,” he said.

“So it’s like marriage,” I said.

“That’s a good analogy. Trying to get people to do what they’re supposed to is like separating ribs. I need people to answer their phone, or write their Notes. They don’t all do it.”

“So it’s like a cross between babysitting and marriage…”

“Another good analogy! We’re really on the same page here. Would you like to have dessert at Le Venue down the street?”

“I’d love to!”

“Waiter, would you bring our settlement statement? Was my appetizer amortized over the life of the dinner?”

The waiter brought the check.

“When is my first payment due?” asked Jeremy.

“In five minutes,” the waiter answered. “The term of your loan is 45 minutes–with no accrued interest. The final payment is due tonight as well.”

“Is my APR different from my rate?”

“They are the same–due to the fact that we are not adding finance charges to your transaction,” the waiter explained.

“I see your point.”

“There are no points– because points would be considered finance charges–and no origination fee,” concluded the waiter.

“This conversation is completely irrelevant, considering there is no security instrument,” said Jeremy.

The waiter returned with the credit card statement.

“What color ink would you like me to sign with, black or blue?”

“Either. Just as long as you are personally appearing before me, I can accept your signature…but I could give you an oath…because I saw you were raising your right hand as you were trying to hail me,” the waiter replied.

“Shall we leave?” I asked Jeremy.

“Let’s go,” he said.

We walked down the street to Le Venue, a Restaurant for Notaries, for dessert.

“What county are we in?” Jeremy asked the hostess.

“Why do you need to know?”

“You always need to know what county you’re in when you fill out a venue. You’re not a notary, are you?” Jeremy told the hostess.

“Is everyone here a notary?” he asked the waiter.

“Pretty much…except the hostess,” the waiter replied.

I noticed the placemats read, “State of California…”

We looked at the menu anyway, even though we were only there for dessert…and saw “Roast Seal with Ink.”

Jeremy considered the mousse for dessert…

“What county is the mousse from?” Jeremy asked.

“It’s not from a county, it’s from a province, sir” the waiter replied.

“Can we get an Alaskan mousse?” …

“How about this dessert made with oreo cookies– what a great raised seal they have!” I suggested.

“Does the seal on the embossed cookie have an expiration date?” Jeremy asked.

“It doesn’t expire until 2015,” the waiter attested.

“How about the analytics dessert? It’s a graph… It’s in the form of a pie graph…”

“Oh, I can’t eat a whole pie…” I said.

“Well, most of the pieces are missing…the anayltics weren’t very good…” Jeremy pointed out.

Jeremy got the mousse, and I asked for the Locus Sigilli Sundae.

“Today is Friday. Do you serve the sundae today–or only on Sundays and federal holidays?”

“We serve this sundae with the oreos every day, sir,” the waiter replied.

The food was perfect.

“I can’t finish my dessert,” I said. Can you finish it for me?” I asked.

“I think we have to get a power of attorney for me to finish your dessert,” Jeremy replied.

On the way out, he went up to the hostess and asked, “Can you validate us?”

“You’re a very nice person,” she told him, smiling.

“No, I mean stamp our parking receipt…Can I stamp it myself? I’m a notary; that’s my thing. Can I backdate it? We’ve been here quite a while…”

“No, sorry sir, we don’t allow that…”

“I enjoyed eating the date stamped on my oreos…” I said, wondering what to expect next.

“I enjoyed eating my mousse…but I would have enjoyed it more if the antlers hadn’t been crushed by the car that hit it in the dark, ” Jeremy laughed. “Can I take you home?” Jeremy asked softly.

“No….just drop me off at the FedEx drop box.”

Tweets:
(1) “Waiter, would you bring our settlement statement? Was my appetizer amortized over the life of the dinner?”
(2) The waiter brought the check. “When is my first payment due?” asked Jeremy.
(3) “Does the seal on the embossed oreo cookie have an expiration date?” Jeremy asked.
(4) The notary asked, “Can I get an Alaskan moose with Russian dressing. They’re our next door neighbors!”
(5) Running 123notary is more like babysitting than you think,
“Did you update your listing? Did you update your notes? Did you renew yet?”
(6) “FedEx?” I said. “Why FedEx?” “That’s where my dates always end–at a FedEx drop box.”
(7) Running 123notary is like a cross between babysitting & a marriage. A bunch of situations that never end!

You might also like:

My 2nd date with Jeremy
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7074

What are Jeremy’s favorite blog entries?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18837

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January 28, 2022

Bartender Notary: A reverse mortgage on the rocks!

Filed under: Humorous Posts,Popular on Twitter 2011 — Tags: , , — admin @ 11:54 pm

This was originally published in 2013.

Signing with the Bartender-Notary: Reverse Mortgage on the Rocks

The bartender notary knocks on the door. “Hi, I’m the bartender notary. I’m here to do your signing.”
“Sure, come right in,” says Joe the borrower.

They go to the dining room table to do the signing. The bartender notary looks around and says, “Hey, isn’t that a wet bar in the back of your living room?”
“Yes.”
“Would you mind if we sat over there?; I would feel much more comfortable sitting over there,” the bartender notary says.
Joe goes behind the bar and asks, “Where am I supposed to sit?”
“No, I’m the bartender so I go behind the bar. you sit on the stool on the other side,” the notary insists.

“Aren’t we gonna do the signing?” asks Joe.
The notary opens his briefcase and takes out a few flasks of non-alcoholic drinks, a tall glass, and a little umbrella. “I’m frustrated, because , when I go to signings, no one ever offers me a drink…maybe after half an hour they might offer me some tap water if I’m lucky…So I decided to turn the tables around…or the counters, as the case may be…and offer the signers a drink. I make my own orange-cranberry spritzer…would you like one of those…or would you like a virgin lemonade? I’ve got everything except ice.”

“Make me a strawberry lime spritzer…and can you muddle the fruits a little? Wait—” says Joe. “Aren’t we supposed to be doing a signing?”
“I’m the bartender notary; I talk bar talk. It’s my trademark to serve drinks and make smalltalk before we do the signing.”
“Ok, I’ll play along,” says Joe.

“How about those Dodgers, Joe? Who are they gonna trade?”
“Well, right now, I’m ready to trade notaries—if we don’t get started with the signing right away.”
“Ok, let’s do the signing,” the notary shrugs.
“Actually,” Joe says, “my reverse mortgage was on the rocks since the beginning of the application process, so I decided to go for a refinance– straight up.”

“Ok,” the notary says.“Your first document is a Deed of Trust. May I see some ID, sir?”
The borrower says, “What, I don’t look over 21?”
“Just a precaution, sir.”

The bartender notary opens his journal and begins to record the types of documents, the patron-borrower’s ID, and the types of drinks served at the signing.

The notary says, “This is your Deed of Trust. Your loan amount is right here; please initial all pages of the document and sign on the last page.”

They get to the Note; the notary says, “This is your Note. Your interest rate is 4.5%. The last loan I signed was an adjustable rate mortgage. I asked the borrower if he would like his interest rate shaken or stirred when the adjustment date comes in two years. He didn’t laugh. He didn’t think it was very funny. I’m lucky he didn’t trade me. Maybe it was how I said it…”

Then the notary asks, “So how’s the wife treating you?”
“Oh, I canned her years ago… I have a girlfriend,” says Joe.
“Do you think she will be in need of a bartender-notary anytime soon?”
“No she lives in an apartment. She won’t need to refinance anything in this lifetime.”

“So waddaya think–those interest rates—are they gonna go up or down?” asks the bartender notary.
“Oh, the Fed’s gotta keep it about the same—or you notaries will all be out of a job!”

“Next, we are going to look at the TIL. This is your Truth in Lending disclosure. Your APR is right here. So are we going into Iran? Whaddaya think the chances are that we invade Iran?”
Joe the signer looks at the TIL and says, “I’d give it about a 4.97%… Hey, I thought we’re not supposed to talk about politics at the signing?”
“That’s my trademark, I have to talk about politics because I’m the bartender notary… that’s what bartenders talk about. Would you like some bar snacks? We have peanuts, wasabi chips … Did you hear about LAX Vineyards new wine blend? It’s a cross between a cab, a merlot, and a shuttle. It’s very popular with bartenders. Did you hear about the wine documentary from Ireland? It’s called Cork Uncorked… There’s a special kind of wine for a signing… Did you hear about the Reverse Mortgage Cabernet? It’s rich in tannins and has two subtle notes…black cherry, and a hint of cocoa…and a smooth finish…assuming that we don’t have to call the lender.”

Joe asks, “What’s next?”
“The next document is your HUD.”

They go to the HUD. Joe the borrower asks, “Oh, so is my strawberry lime spritzer documented in the HUD?”
“Yeah, I think it’s right there under the termite inspection…Let’s just sign the rest of these documents; I have to close up soon…Last call,” says the notary.

They finish signing the rest of the documents.

The notary takes the borrower’s copy of the Deed of Trust and places it next to the signed Deed of Trust. Joe looks at it and says, “There are two Deeds of Trust. I’m seeing double. I thought that strawberry lime spritzer was non-alcoholic…”

“No! These are your borrower’s copies. Are you gonna be ok—or should I call you a cab?”
Joe: “I’m already home…I live here.”

Tweets:
(1) I’m frustrated because when I go to signings, nobody ever offers me a drink!
(2) Bartender notary prefers to do his signings sitting on stools near the wet-bar.
(3) I’m the bartender notary; I talk bar talk. It’s my trademark to serve drinks and make smalltalk before signing.”

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January 27, 2022

Crayons and dog treats at the signing

Filed under: Etiquette,Ninja Theme Articles,Pets at Signings — admin @ 12:30 am

NOTE: The point of this article is that the Notary put unique and interesting information about how she brings crayons and dog treats to the signing. This refreshing information got her a lot more business. Learn from her!

I just spoke to a delightful notary. It is fun talking to the new notaries, because some of them are so interesting!

This lady likes to make everyone comfortable at a signing, and she gets a lot of repeat business, so her method is working. When she walks in the door, she greets the animals and children first. She gets to know them a bit, and explains to them what she is going to do there. She also offers treats to the dogs, and crayons for the children!

The result of her nice way of getting to know everyone, is that everyone is happy during the signing. Dogs are much happier if you introduce yourself to them and tell them your name. They like it if you let them sniff you a bit. Cats are a little more tricky. It takes cats a few years to warm up to a human, and feeding them chicken daily for a few years facilitates the process. The children feel very happy, that someone thought of them, and now they have something to do during the signing that will keep them quiet.

It is fun to hear about the unique approaches that notaries have to doing signings, and this one was fun!

But, there is only one lingering question that I feel I must ask.
How come nobody gets ME crayons?

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January 26, 2022

The carrot, the stick, the notary, and the bag

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , , — admin @ 5:55 am

We have all heard the story about the carrot and the stick. But, I decided to add complexity to the story by adding in the notary and the bag which are both relevant in their own way.

The Carrot
Most notaries are lured in by the benefit of getting paid for signing agent work. They are desperate to get work. They believe all of the lies they are fed by companies that string them along without paying them what they really deserve — or perhaps without paying them at all. Notaries keep chasing these bad companies around in desperations because these companies have a carrot — or at least a perceived carrot. (money would be the carrot in this case)

Notaries should NOT hover around bad companies like little puppy dogs jump around their master. Have some dignity! You need to market yourself to hundreds of signing companies. Get on their lists. And keep in touch with them. You need to see yourself as a carrot rather than chasing other people’s carrots. The notary’s carrot is that they can provide seamless service. Imagine a notary who is always on time, always well dressed, always polite, rock solid in reliability, doesn’t make mistakes, knows the documents inside out, and knows how much to explain and what to refer to the lender. If you can be that perfect flawless notary — you are valuable — and you would be more than just a perceived carrot to the signing / title companies. You would be a stick.

The Stick
Many notaries try waving their stick around without the carrot. They brag about themselves and try to convince others that they are great, and they are above the childish requirements for fax backs. Companies who use inexperienced notaries require fax backs since those notaries make a lot of mistakes. If you are “all that”, then why are you working for these chop shops in the first place? Don’t wave your stick around talking and whining — become a carrot on a stick instead.

The Notary
Notaries whine about not being offered much money for undesireable jobs with fax backs. The fact is that if you have experience and are 100% reliable and offer 100% quality service — such a notary is NOT REPLACEABLE… Then you develop a tremendous value. Those are the notaries that companies will wait for. They will say, “Okay, we will reschedule the signing for Wednesday if that is when you are free — we will wait for you”. If you are an average notary, nobody will wait for you.

The Bag
If you don’t make yourself into a super desireable notary, you will be left out by the more desireable companies who can pick and choose. And you will be left holding the bag.

An ending quote…

“If life gives you carrots, make carrot juice” — 123notary.com

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January 25, 2022

Vampire Notaries: 24 hour service

This was originally published in 2013

It was a dark and rainy night.
A couple called a company called Vampire Notaries for a late night signing.

The company’s motto was:
“We are part vampire; We provide 24 hour service”

They were going to sign a simple affidavit. The couple thought the business name of the notary sounded romantic in an erie way. In any case, the vampire(s) showed up a the appointed time.

It was 2am on a rainy night. There was thunder; There was lightening. The couple was cozying up next to the fireplace sipping wine. Then, there was a slow, but emphatic knock on the door. Knock………… knock……….. knock………. Each knock was heavy and decisive, but not frighteningly loud. There was a four second pause between each knock.

Two seemingly normal men in their 30’s were at the door. They both had clean cut hair, and were clean shaven. Everything was normal about these two guys, or at least, so it seemed. The only distinguishing aspect of their appearance was their long black coats. But, it was raining, so perhaps they needed a long trenchcoat, right? Or, was this part of their usual attire?

The couple asked why there were two of them. The answer was, “We like to work in pairs”. The couple gave each other a weird look, and then they asked what was next. Vampire #1 asked to see their identification. The couple gladly handed their drivers licenses over. Vampire #1 stared at the picture of the lady, and said, “That’s a nice picture, you have nice rosy cheeks… you must have good circulation! Do you work out?” Next, Vampire #1 wanted to see the documents. The couple was instructed to sign the documents. Next, it was time for pawprints. Vampire #2 asked for a right thumbprint from the husband. At this point, the wife asked, “Aren’t you asking for a lot? The next thing you will ask for is a DNA sample, a retinal scan, or even a BLOOD SAMPLE.”.

At this point, Vampire #1 exclaimed,
“Funny you should mention that” — and gave a knowing glance to the the other vampire.

Then it was time for the wife’s thumbprint. The husband said to Vampire #2, “You really do spend a lot of time looking over my shoulders and breathing down my neck. Vampire #2 said, “They don’t call us Vampire Notaries for nothing!”. Finally, the wife noticed that Vampire #1 was doing 90% of the work. She asked why one Vampire did almost all of the work. Vampire #2 explained, “I prefer to watch!” — with a delighted look on his face.

After the notary work was all done, the couple paid the notaries. But, Vampire #2 said, “We are not done yet”. The wife asked, “What more could we possibly do?”. Vampire #2 walked over to his briefcase, and whipped out four dixie cups and announced, “It’s time for our midnight elixer!”. Vampire #1 brought a small bottle of sangria, he glanced at the couple’s Anderson Valley Syrah and said, “You are drinking the WRONG type of wine!”.

So, all four of them enjoyed a two ounce sip of Sangria (the Italian word for BLOOD) from their little chalices. After that, the vampires were about to part ways with this young couple. The lady said to the man, “They seemed nice, but that was a little strange”.

Right before the vampires walked out the front door, Vampire #1 whipped out a purple light. The couple saw what these guys looked like in the light, and their eyes turned a very disconcerting color, and their teeth turned color too, emphasizing their fangs.

“Oh my god”, screamed the wife.

“Fare well”, retorted the vampires… and left, with the door making a medium-loud clunk as it closed.

The next day, the couple woke up. Everything seemed normal. The husband brushed his teeth. The wife took her shower. They enjoyed a slow breakfast with all of the usual items. Then, it was time for a kiss before going to work. But, the wife noticed something.

“Fred, What are those strange marks on your neck?”

Tweets:
(1) The company’s motto was: “We are part vampire; We provide 24 hour service”
(2) 2 seemingly normal men in their 30’s were at the door. It was raining, so maybe they needed trenchcoats, right?
(3) Wife: “The next thing you will ask for is a blood sample.”
Vampire Notary: “Funny you should mention that.”
(4) Vampire Notary: “I like your ID picture. You have nice rosy cheeks, you must have good circulation, do you work out?”
(5) After the signing w/Vampire Notary, the 4 of them enjoyed a sip of Sangria (the Italian word for BLOOD)
(6) The day after the signing w/the Vampire Notaries the wife asked: “Fred, what are those strange marks on your neck?”
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