Dave had a multimillion dollar contract for a very rare biotech machine that was one of a kind. He was to meet the buyer in a high rise downtown. But, Dave was taken hostage in the lobby 10 minutes before the signing. The subject (Tom) needed the machine to save his brother who was dying of a rare disease.
TOM: (Pointing gun) Drop the briefcase and come with me.
DAVE: I can’t, this is a very important contract.
TOM: I’m afraid you don’t have a choice.
SECURITY: Help, 911, there’s a man with a gun. Send a strategic response team immediately!
TOM: Drop your cell phone and slide it over to me. Now, Dave, I need that machine you’re selling for my sick brother. I have no choice. I have to do this. Let’s go upstairs to where the buyer is waiting.
.
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(The two of them go upstairs)
NOTARY: Hi, I’m the Notary, and by the way, did you find me on 123notary.com?
TOM: I wasn’t the one who made the call.
DAVE: Yes you were.
NOTARY: Oh great, can you write a review for me on my listing.
TOM: This is not the time to be talking about reviews (waving gun around.)
NOTARY: Oh, did you want me to notarize your gun?
TOM: NO. I want the biotech machine to save my dying brother.
(ring ring)
TOM: Don’t answer that. I’ll get this.
GREG: Hi, this is Sargeant Greg Parker from the strategic response unit. I understand you have a hostage up there.
TOM: Yes Greg, we do.
GREG: That was a smart thing to do, taking a hostage. That really changes the game.
TOM: What are you, a professional negotiator?
GREG: Yes Tom, that is what I am. I’m here to try to work out your situation. Would you mind telling me your name?
TOM: Um, I can’t. I didn’t want to do this. I just need the machine to save my dying brother. I’ve never done anything like this (waving gun) Stand back!
GREG: Is the machine in the building where you are?
TOM: They won’t tell me where it is. And even if I have it, I don’t know how it works.
GREG: Sounds like one of the guns our team uses that’s in storage. I don’t know where it is, or how it works. If I press the wrong button, only God knows what will happen.
TOM: What?
(crash — Jules rams the door and barges into the room)
JULES: Put your weapons down!!!!
ED: Put your weapons down…
JULES: There’s only one weapon, so let’s use the singular.
ED: Copy that!!! Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to put your gun down.
NOTARY: I have a seal, should I drop my seal? I think of it as kind of a weapon.
ED: Yes, put the seal on the table.
GREG: Do you have the solution?
ED: I have the solution, and Jules has eyes on the subject although he’s nothing much to look at.
JULES: Hey, I like him. It’s just that I’m (oops) not allowed to talk about them… Sam… since that’s a conflict of interest.
GREG: I’ll pretend that I didn’t hear that so I don’t get fired. Now, put down the weapon so that we can talk this over.
TOM: I need that machine.
GREG: That’s not going to happen. We can’t give you that machine. But, if you don’t put your gun down, we’ll have to use lethal force against you. Do you understand that? They your brother will die and so will you.
TOM: No, I won’t!!!
GREG: Okay…. Scorpio
(blast)
GREG: What was that?
ED: It seems to be a gas explosion in another part of the building.
TOM: Okay, I’ll put my gun down. I don’t want to die.
JULES: You came inches from it.
DAVE: You know what, I can let your brother use my machine. But, only under my supervision.
TOM: You will? Gee thanks!
ED: And you can see the whole thing from a monitor — in jail. Put your hands in the air. You have the right to remain silent.
NOTARY: I can give him an Oath of silence. That’s one of my duties as a Notary Public.
Ed: That won’t be necessary.
NOTARY: I also do weddings and bar-mitzvahs.
