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May 8, 2021

Notary Covid Cemetery

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 12:16 pm

As you know, no Notary to our knowledge has died of Covid-19, but lots are hiding out because, “What if I get Covid and spread it to someone else?” But, in this blog article we are going to pretend that this plandemic caused death and destruction to so many Notaries that they had to create a cemetery just for Notaries.

At the Notary Covid Cemetery, please notice that all of the graves are six feet apart and the bodies are six feet under. This is to meet social distancing requirements.

The gravestones must all wear masks.

This part of the cemetery is for those who died of Covid-19. What about the other part? Those are the ones that died of the aluminum and other bio-hazards in the vaccine.

People who don’t like the cemetery are not called anti-semitic, but anti-cemeteric or non-symmetric. It’s different.

You can stand on the dry grass, but not on the wet grass because of “the science.” Of course a similar cemetery in a neighboring state has the exact opposite rule once again, because of, “the science.” I’m not sure these guys are using the same scientist or choose studies based not on how reliable they are but based on if they meet “the narrative.” So which is policy based on, “the science” or “the narrative” or is it all just arbitrary and unconstitutional BS? Hmm. Around here even the dead don’t have the right to free assembly. What on earth is going on here.

We asked the governor if the dead would ever have the right to take off their N95s and he replied, “over my dead body!”

The lack of human rights is a very “grave” situation, especially around here.

The mausoleum to the left had an antiquated stamp collection of the late Sir. Notarius Floyd who died of an ink overdose. Such a tragic way to die. He also liked doing online notarizations because much of the information was en-crypt-ed. No wonder he died so young.

Beethoven was in the vault next door to the mausoleum. What was he doing? Decomposing! When his finger twitched, we called it Beethoven’s first movement.

Last year the cemetery was busy. Everyone and their mummy seemed to be there. But, this year, the place was dead.

In any case, the Notary Covid-19 cemetery is one of the best places in town. Most people would die to go there. Our suggestion is to go there before your expiration date, unless you renew your commission — before it is too late.


May 6, 2021

Can a person swear on behalf of another person

Filed under: Technical & Legal — admin @ 10:45 am

If John has power of attorney for Sue, can he swear under Oath for Sue? No, he can’t. But, he can sign documents on Sue’s behalf.

To sum it up, he can swear at Sue, for not swear for Sue.

This is an issue doing loan signings involving Powers of Attorney. Most of these signings have Affidavits that need to be sworn to. So, the agent swears to them. And that is that.


May 5, 2021

Catching cold during the tail end of the Covid plandemic

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:29 am

I never really thought about whether or not I would get Covid-19. Most cases are asymptomatic. But, when you get a flu at my age, that typically puts you down for two weeks. It is amazing that younger people who are at a huge risk of losing half a month or work from the flu or a cold are not afraid of that but only afraid of Covid Covid Covid. It is like their brains are completely programmable. You just tell them the same thing over and over again and they can be afraid of anything. They don’t even realize they are being programmed because they haven’t been programmed to realize. But, I digress.

So, from Feb 2020 on, I was not too afraid of Covid. In the beginning of the pandemic, I was a little afraid to go out any more than necessary because there was a shortage of hospital rooms and the disease was so new, that none of us really knew what to expect, and the media was blowing it out of control. Remember — their job is not only to make you scared, but to program you to think a particular way — and your job is to shut up and think the way you were told to think. So be quiet and think — or don’t think!

After April 2020 was over, I decided that since nobody I knew got Covid that the disease was a lot smaller than what the media had made it out to be and it was more hoax than pandemic. The shutdowns were devastating to my happiness and personal life, but I got through it, although I’ll never have faith in humanity again. Humanity thinks its okay to strip me of my rights so that they can feel safe. If they want to feel safe, they can stick their head in the sand at home and leave me out of it!

Then in March 2021 after Covid-19 had died down, I got really cold and tired. I had to sleep most of the time for five days straight. I still worked a few hours a day because I didn’t want to get behind. But, I was so weak, that I used some SHAMANIC methods to increase strength. I had half of a NY steak cooked rare to get that fire energy for my heart on one day and then the rest of it the next. Then I watched videos about people traveling in Joshua Tree National Park which has amazing fire energies and other energies. I watched videos about Sedona too. The combination of the steak and the videos got me enough energy to be able to sit up and work five hours a day. Wow!

The next day I saw the acupuncturist and he said that I was not sick at all. But, his opinion is based on my pulse, and not based on objective reality. They are trained like this. I went back a few days later and that time I told me that I was sick, but not very sick. A few days later I felt well enough to work a full day, but my voice had a tremor. So, he gave me powerful herbs for my lungs which helped right away. So, as of now, I am still a little sick, but can function and don’t feel as bad as before. One evening about six days into this cold I had some pasta and the tomato sauce really irritated my intestines and I was in bed for 14 hours in mild discomfort. But, at least I was not in any major pain.

But, many people told me to test for Covid-19. My attitude was, why? My cold had no Covid symptoms. No cough, no loss of taste, no lung issues, and I can smell, although only if I put my nose close to something. So, if it is Covid, how would that change anything? I already have to stay away from people. Just because it is probably not Covid, if you got what I have, you could lose two weeks of work just like that. You would be semi-paralyzed in bed wracked by extreme fatigue. I don’t want to have to go somewhere, pay, and then have some jerk put something painful up my nose that gives an unreliable test result. Sounds like a very expensive and unpleasant exercise in futility. But, people told me that I might feel a sense of relief knowing.

It would be like me finding out that I am Korean. I just feel better knowing that I’m Korean. My parents aren’t korean, I don’t look Korean, I don’t speak Korean, I don’t eat Korean food, and I have never been to Korea. But, I feel relieved having the knowledge that I’m Korean. I’ll put it on my business card. It would be similar to find out out that my cat is really a dog. How does that change anything? Even though it is for other people so that the disease doesn’t spread to them, as I said before, a cold can spread too and is a lot more dangerous for those under 60 than Covid-19 is.

It seems that people do not read “the science” and have a very lobsided view of what is dangerous. A cold that knocks you out for two weeks is dangerous. It won’t kill you but isn’t losing two weeks or your career dangerous? That includes being home with a fever in bed. That could get out of control. People die of the flu must more than covid in the under 60 crowd. That is dangerous. Oh, I forgot, we haven’t been programmed to think for ourselves and look at actual numbers — that is why it isn’t regarded as dangerous.

My parting question is — when do we get programmed to think for ourselves? And if we’re not going to be programmed to do that, when do we decide to program ourselves to think for ourselves?

If people are going to act like dumb zombies, could they at least have the decency to walk around with their two hands straight forward with a brain dead look on their face? This is how 80% of America is acting.


May 4, 2021

18 things you can do to offer better customer service as a notary

Filed under: Best Practices — admin @ 10:37 am

Most Notaries complain that they don’t get enough work. Others complain that they get too much work, but not enough of the good work. Life is like this. But, by providing super customer service, you will get more repeat clients and that is one of the most potent secrets to success. Here are some customer service tips for Notaries.

1. Answer questions the way they were asked
Don’t talk too much or give answers that beat around the bush or go on tangents. Pleasantly stick to the facts and answer the question.

2. Answer the phone stating your name
Don’t say, “Hello.” Let the world know who you are. After all, what if they think they dialed incorrectly? Also, they will feel that you are more professional if you do.

3. Avoid background noise during calls.
Apologize if you are in a noisy place and try to go to a quiet place. Make sure your radio, television, and children are “off” before you pick up the phone, otherwise excuse yourself. Most children’s mouths come with an off switch, it’s doesn’t always function though.

4. Be on time
Commentary: arrive slightly early and wait.

5. Confirm the signing and ask a long list of pertinent questions.
That way your signing will go smoothly.

6. Dress nicely
People are shallow and judge you based on how you dress. I’m not like that, but then you should see how I dress. I judge you on what you know, how cooperative you are, and if you are reliable. Your nice clothes are the icing on the cake if you have the other qualifications. Business casual is recommended for all three genders. There are three now, right?

7. Don’t discuss politics or religion
I know, in 2020 that is easier said than done. Our whole existences are controlled by our fascist governors who won’t even let us have Thanksgiving the way we want. Next thing you know they will say, “No cranberry sauce by decree of the emperor!!!” As a general rule, be polite and don’t upset anyone in any way.

8. Park where they want you to park, or park in the street if possible.

9. Introduce yourself at the door and briefly explain your function. Then find a nice table to sign on. Let them choose where to sign, but you do need a flat surface.

10. Explain, but not too much
If you are trained in introducing the documents, if your state allows that, then do it. But, don’t explain the legal meanings of the documents otherwise you are playing Mortgage broker or Attorney. Vague descriptions of what the documents are about is okay, and where critical information is works. Explaining the terms of the loan is not a good idea.

11. Ask them if they have any other questions
Some people have notary questions or spiritual questions. You might be seen as helpful if you help them with those. For spiritual questions, my suggestion for a canned answer would be to give them a serious and caring look and say, “Stay centered.”

12. You can ask them if they have anything else that needs to be notarized.
It doesn’t offer to do more at no extra cost. That increases your chance of getting a valuable review exponentially.

13. Some small talk is good
Small talk is very cultural. Americans seem to like it while Germans and Koreans seem to not like it. Africans like small talk, big talk or any kind of talk and tend to be more sociable than the rest of us. My analysis is that the less a culture engages in talking, the more successful they are. But, you will be seen as nice if you make just the right amount of small talk without getting into any uncomfortable issues, such as how you like Gretchen Witmer’s (D Michigan) new haircut or policy as to whether or not humans should be allowed to leave their house.

14. After you are done
Let them know you will drop the FedEx right away, and then do that. They want to know their documents are in good hands.

15. If there is a problem
Make sure you have all the contact numbers of the Lenders, Brokers, Title people, etc. You might need to call them to resolve some issues. Being prepared and helpful wins the game.

16. Resolve all issues with animals beforehand
If you have issues with cats, dogs, gerbils, oxen, etc., let them know before the signing so they can put them behind a locked door that doesn’t open on its own, hence the term locked.

17. Don’t show them your gun or pepper spray

18. Notary humor sometimes works
You can tell them about the notary who was asked to notarize a mannequin. But, the notary who was dragged into a bedroom by the hot female signer… save that one for a signer you know a little better. The joke about how many notaries you need to screw in a lightbulb is generally safe.


May 3, 2021

Taking precautions against Covid

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 8:02 am

Although I got a cold, and not Covid, I take precautions for contagious diseases. While other people who think that wearing a paper mask will protect themselves somehow, I realize that a think mask might delay when you are infected with something, but cannot prevent it altogether, so it therefore does NOT keep you “safe.”

However, I take Vitamin D regularly. People who take D still get infected with all types of diseases, but the severity of the disease is a lot less because of the effects of the vitamin which stimulates 2000 genes in your body most of which have to do with the immune system.

I also take garlic and eat cruciferous vegetables and fermented foods regularly. This is good for your gut bacteria which is the backbone of your immune system.

I even had a few maitake mushrooms which increase your killer T cells by 30%. I’m not sure how many maitakes I am supposed to eat. I just eat a serving each time. I like to live in moderation.

When I got sick, I found it a little bit remarkable that I had no symptoms other than fatigue and chills for several days. Normally when you get an infectious disease you cough, sneeze, are stuffed up, have intestinal issues, lung pain, or something. I had none of this. Was it because I took precautions for my immune system? Was it the vitamin D?

Then I asked myself using my psychic techniques which are not necessarily accurate, but are all I have — HOW MUCH WORSE would my cold have been if I did not have garlic, vegetables, fermented foods, D, maitake, etc? It looks to me logically that it could have been many times worse. If my lungs had been hurting for two weeks or coughing stuff up, that would have been very painful. I think I got off lucky although I lost a fair amount of time from work.

My amateurish psychic reading says that my cold would have been six times as bad. So, while we are all scared of Covid, a simple common cold can destroy your health and body very easily. So, keep your immune system tuned up at all times because you never know what is down the road.


May 2, 2021

What to do if your seal’s impression was not good

Filed under: Technical & Legal — admin @ 10:18 am

There are various ways and reasons why a seal’s impression might not be perfect. Please note that county recorders are sometimes very picky about a seal being perfect with no missing corners and not too light or dark, or God forbid smudgy.

If you over-ink your stamp it could get smudgy easily. And if you are running low on ink, your stamp might be too dry. So, find that happy medium inking your seal.

There are several ways to remedy a smudgy or bad seal impression.

1. Get a fresh certificate form and start over.
This is the cleanest. But, if your client wants the original document notarized on original paperwork and no stapled certificates, you can always… (see next option)

2. Re-affix your seal below or near the original seal. Make sure the seals do not overlap. I mentioned this to the seals basking at La Jolla Beach in San Diego — they were lounging on top of each other. I told them that is against Notary law. They said, “We’re not that kind of seals — ar ar ar…”

3. DO NOT try to fix or repair the original seal impression. It will look tampered with and that would constitute tampering. It would look very suspicious and odd.

4. Do a practice exercise on a spare piece of paper and shred it once you are done. That way you can make sure your seal is not too runny, and that your wrist has the right technique.

5. Print out a new document, shred the original, resign and re-stamp. That is yet another option.

So, now you know how to solve one of the earliest problems known to mankind. If you know which came first — the chicken or the egg, and how to fix a botched stamp, then grasshopper, you are ready to go out into the world.


May 1, 2021

Precautions as a notary are like wearing your seat belt

Filed under: Best Practices — admin @ 6:28 am

One out of seven seasoned Notaries I talked to has ended up in court at least once. Generally this happens because of something outside of the Notary’s control. Fraud, theft, or someone taking advantage of a confused elder are the main reasons for court cases.

Notaries who have never been to court think it will never happen to them. It is like car accidents. Bad ones do not happen much, but when they do, if you are not wearing a seatbelt and/or don’t have good airbags, you might be in big trouble. Just because it hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean it won’t happen tomorrow, or in twenty years. So, take precautions. Think of these as wearing a facemask if that makes it more relatable.

If a signer is senile, elderly, in a hospital or nursing home, make sure you can identify they correctly and that they can explain to you what they are signing. Don’t ask yes or no questions as they will say yes to anything and are probably on morphine and not all there. If they go over the document point by point, then they know what they are signing today. They might not remember a year from now though, and that is dangerous for you if it goes to court.

Your journal is your only evidence, so if you say, “My state doesn’t require a journal” you are a fool. The state might not require it, but a judge or investigator needs the journal as that is your only evidence of what actually happened.

1. Make sure the name on the ID proves the name on the document. Don’t use the “you can have more but not less” rule, because notaries always forget which document you can have more on – the ID or the document. So, remember my rule. “The name on the ID must prove the name on the document.” The ID name can be matching but longer, or matching and identical to prove the name.

2. Take a thumbprint unless your state forbids it. I personally might take a thumbprint anyway in Texas because the state forbids selling or distributing that information and not taking it — and that is your only hard evidence of the identity of the signer. Fake ID’s abound, but fake thumbprints do not.

3. In the “Additional Notes” section of your journal write down about the situation, the mental state of the signer, who else is there, and that the signer explained the document to you. This could save your rear if you go to court three years later because you will not remember what happened off the top of your head. Write down anything else noteworthy about the situation to job your memory when investigated.

4. Decline jobs that are too sketchy or if you are unsure that the signer knows what is going on.

5. Have the signer verify who the other people are with them if they are elderly. Sometimes they are not related and sometimes they are scamming the signer.

6. Make sure you know how to give Oaths correctly. You could lose your commission if a judge finds out otherwise.

I was investigated 3 times, but had my paperwork and thumbprints in order. It took me minutes to query jobs done a year or so ago since I had a stack of journals all in chronological order. I always identified people correctly and took notes in my journal for credible witnesses and other pertinent facts. Be sure to do the same, or even more. If you do everything correctly, you still might end up in court, but it will be a shorter case as you have more compelling evidence as to what happened — especially the thumbprint which is your only hardcoded proof of identity.

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