Just for the record, it is illegal to notarize a dead person, so I advise that you don’t break the law in any way, shape or form. I also recommend that you defend the constitution from all enemies foreign and domestic. It is the domestic ones who are the worst these days. Since it is April Fools day, I took the liberty of publishing this silly article. Here are my points.

1. Six Feet Under
Dead people are normally six feet under which satisfies the social distancing requirements. Unfortunately it might be hard to see them and identify them if you are separated by six feet of dirt. But, you could improvise.

2. Notarizing Spirits
If you notarize a spirit, make sure the spirit has ID, and that it is good spirits. I’m not sure how that applies or what that means. I think a human might be in good spirits, if happy spirits are around us. I noticed that during the period of spiritual darkness in mid 2020 my mood declined due to the pervasive influence of malevolent spirits. I was told that would go away in April 2021. Let’s hope for the best.

3. Notarizing a Voice
If you notarize a voice for someone in an insane asylum, first of all realize that all of us hear voices. Some people hear them louder than others or more frequently. The problem is if you believe the voice. I am mildly clarevoyant and regularly talk to the spirit of my guru, healer spirits and a particular angel, but I know these “people” well and know what is in character for them to say. But, the voices that crazy people hear might be demonic spirits. The voices might be “real” , but not savory. But, the bottom line is that the voice must physically appear before you and present ID to be notarized.

4. Dead People Vote for Democrats
The joke is that living people usually vote for Republicans, but vote Democrat after they die. If you are notarizing ballots in any mail-in election, it might be hard to do signature verification on a dead person. It might require some creativity. But, in defense of states requiring notarized ballots, those states were not questioned by Trump’s Attorneys. So, Giuliani must have some faith in the notarization process. He should send some of his signature cigars out to Notaries who did a good job.

5. Half Dead
People who are half dead in a hospital who cannot think clearly or communicate well or hold a pen properly are prime risk for lawsuits. One in seven notaries on our site who has been in business full-time for several years ended up in court. If you want to increase your chances of appearing before a judge, engage in risky hospital notarizations. It pays to speak directly to the signer for hospital signings. If they are sleeping and cannot talk to you, that is a bad sign.

6. The Vaccine
My psychic says that those who take the vaccine will become infertile, genetically adulterated and become the living dead and we will have something like a zombie apocalypse of some sort. He said they would become something inhuman. I’m not sure about his credibility, but there is aluminum and some DNA strings that can affect your immunity in various ways which is not natural and scary. I wouldn’t take it. But, you might have to notarize the half dead one day so brace yourself.

7. Carmen
Carmen passed away in late July, 2020. She doesn’t need to be notarized in heaven, but if you want to chat with her, get used to communicating with the dead. She still has a good sense of humor and might give you some good tips.

Summary
This article is for comedic purposes only and you cannot legally notarize a dead person’s signature even if they signed before they died. Don’t try it.

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This was written by one of our Notaries who just retired. But, she told me the short version of her story which included us!

“I have retired as a Notary Signing Agent.

In 2010, a man came to our home to close a mortgage transaction. I asked him how he had gotten into this type of work and he told me that when he learned about mobile notaries, he had become a notary and signed up with a company called 123 Notary. As soon as he left, I applied for my notary commission and as soon as it came in, I contacted 123 Notary, took the course, and passed the test. From that point on, I was off and running! I built a successful business and enjoyed every minute of it! All good things must come to an end though, and now I’m ready to travel, relax, and play more golf!

Jeremy, I’ve appreciated your phone calls, the forums, and your informative, entertaining articles.”

When you use 123epayment.com or try to login and edit your listing, it may not be possible from a tablet, iPhone or other device. These sites were created many years ago and are designed for use on a regular computer. It is not worth it for us to reprogram everything for iPhones unless a large quantity of people will use it daily. We reprogramming the search function for iPhones since that is used by thousands of people per day.

We are old school over here, so try to work with us. On the other hand, you can always email us your requests from your device and we can do transactions or updates for your using our desktop — so, either way you are covered.

People in Massachusetts always ask, ‘Is there life after Harvard?” That expression was from the old days when people had a good social life. Harvard folks were mostly upper class folks who didn’t apply themselves too much and enjoyed a good social life. Not anymore, or at least, not as much anymore.

But, what about life after Covid-19? What will it be like? How long will restrictions drag on? Will there be isolated cases? Right now many Notaries are cleaning up because half of the other Notaries refuse to leave their basements. I guess they will be voting for Biden not for his policies, but because they share a common lifestyle. Some Notaries don’t even know what city they’re in either. Looks like they have yet another thing in common.

It is likely that there will be many permanent business closures. Many restaurants are never coming back. I cry every time I pass Benjamin’s restaurant “Beverly Felafel.” He was the best and his food was the best… (sniffle). His gyros had the best lettuce, onions, tomato, sauce, and pita. Nobody else compares. And I met many nice people there too (wimper.) It’s not fair. He was a nice person and a pillar in our community. But, honestly, since he was in the Miracle Mile business with a Middle Eastern place, I think he should have used the term, “Miracle Nile” since he was from Egypt. Maybe if he reopens. I’ll mention that to him.

But, what if there are other restrictions that drag on until there is a vaccine? What if we keep having to wear N-95 masks indefinitely even when no new cases are being reported?

And what about the impending housing crash? Foreclosures can legally start September 1st, 2020. Many people are badly behind on their mortgages. Will the real estate market crash and most houses become worthless?

Another alarming trend is happening. People are leaving poorly managed cities such as San Francisco and New York and heading towards greener pastures in more remote locations such as Tahoe, or North Carolina or Florida. Perhaps housing values in the cities will plummet, but values will skyrocket in get-away spots where people feel safe raising their kids.

What is going on in the world sure is interesting, but it is not so nice to live through it. I’ll have stories to tell my … well not my, but other people’s grandchildren such as the riots that took place in my neighborhood where people burned cop cars and threw fireworks at people and threw stones at windows. All of this a five minute walk from my building. There were helicopters and sirens until about 1am. What a nightmare.

And what is there is a vaccine? Will you need to be notarized to say you got the vaccine or to say you want it or didn’t get it?

Basically, we live in an uncertain and very unpleasant world. I just want to be in nature honestly and distance myself from society by more than six feet. A lot more than six feet. Try 600 miles. It is unclear what will happen. I have some ideas in my head about what could happen. It is interesting to see things unravel. But, the real outcome will not be known until mid 2021 when the dust settles and settles hard.

If onions can have salmonella,
Can salmon have onionella? Or does it not work that way?

If a car is bad, it is called a lemon.
But, what is a lemon is bad, what would you call it?

The word for chicken in Korean is “dahk” pronounced duck.
But, what is the word for duck?

In any case, happy first day of spring guys!

The economy has been traumatized in much of America, particularly Democrat run areas where it is much worse. Keeping people out of business is a democratic strategy as it is somehow good for the people. I’m not sure how it is good for the common people, but I will take their word for it. Or perhaps they work for the elites and the hyper-educated who are more than happy to watch the common man starve.

In any case, there will be a huge boom in foreclosures when the courts open up for this type of case. If you have never done one, or never done a Deed in Lieu, it might be time to learn.

The housing market has gone down a little, but for some reason still has not crashed. If it does crash badly I might purchase something, somewhere, somehow. Not sure how!

NOTE: This was written about four months before it was published!

I am a mess without Carmen. I am behind on emails much worse than normal. I cannot answer phone calls at all. And I struggle to do all of the renewals. Right now I am on the road in Arizona trying to get my work done from a hotel. I feel more energy here for work, but it is a pain to have to logout every time I go to the bathroom.

Carmen came in a dream a few days ago and told me to check my email. She was much more relaxed than normal. I think she is doing a lot of resting in heaven. So, I checked my email and there were a lot of emails stacking up there. I am still working on the pile. Wish me luck.

A signing company called a Notary on our site. The Notary found out the borrower had Covid-19 and called back to decline the job. The signing company said, ‘We understand. The safety of our Notaries is our top priority.”

The next thing you know, the same signing company offered the job to a friend of the Notary in a nearby town. If the signing company cares so much about “safety,” then why would they send someone to an infected person’s house? So much for “safety.” The other Notary took the assignment.

So, the question is, how should we be “safe?” If someone has Covid-19 or even a cough at this point they are banned from society. They are prohibited by law from going to any store, or even a medical clinic. At my acupuncturist they take your temperature before they let you in the door — or they used to. I think they got bored with that or perhaps it’s no longer a requirement. The people who need help the most can’t get it. And getting food? Sorry, you don’t qualify. It’s all about being “safe” by violating your rights. Hitler made lots of unnecessary restrictions and claimed it was for people’s “safety” too. So, whenever someone restricts you to be “safe,” think of good old Adolf.

Ironically, one of my favorite people is Adolfo. He is a bar tender, musician, and really cool guy from Texas. I feel that he brings honor to the name Adolf. And that’s one of the cool things about being Hispanic. You can name your kid Jesus, Adolfo, or Israel, and get away with it without an ounce of criticism. Imagine being white in a Jewish part of New York City being named Adolf in 2020. At any rate, my diversion about Hitler had very little to do with anything, but I wrote it to keep you “safe.”

The bottom line is that if the signing company cared about “safety” they would not offer a Covid-19 signing to anyone, but would make someone with immunity stand 10 feet away from the signer on the porch and slide the documents back and forth.

Personally, if you are under 50 and in good health, you are more in danger of dying in a traffic accident on the way to the signing than from Covid-19. But, the media doesn’t try to brainwash you into being afraid of traffic accidents in 2020.

But, my psychic says that in 2021, the media will find new things to terrify you about. Every day they will show photos of people who died in car accidents and suggest that you don’t drive because it is dangerous. They will keep a daily tab of how many died, and in what state from — you guessed it — car accidents. Car crashes — don’t let it happen to you! Then in 2022 they will scare you about eating processed foods and how you will get cancer if you do. Then in 2023, call phone radiation will become linked to cancer, and we will all have to go back to the stone age. Each year a different brand of fear mongering. I can’t wait to see what the scare is for 2024. This is even better than Halloween attractions involving masked men with chain saws.

At any rate, thanks for reading this blog and remember to hide in your basement for the rest of your life. Leaving it would put you in mortal peril. You might die in a car accident, from Covid, or get shot by unruly gangs of people that Cuomo released from jail for no particular reason other than to stick to an insane narrative. And remember — always be “safe”.

What is Notaritus?
It is a disease that is spread on social media. It is not a disease of the body (pause), but of the mind! Notaries who are poorly trained spread a lot of incorrect information and gossip on Facebook and other online forums. Forums are a great place to share information and experience. But, to share incorrect ideas of how to handle notary situations is just plain dangerous. The problem is that Notaries are addicted to mingling and taking advice from others, so the wrong information spreads from person to person much like a virus.

So, there needs to be a vaccine from this virus, and perhaps information about how to flatten the curve of spreading incorrect information.

1. Stay six feet away from other social media platforms.
2. Wear a mask on your brain when you read notary information published by someone other than your state’s secretary of state.
3. Stay in your basement as much as possible and avoid sunlight, being happy, or going out. Although being happy and getting vitamin D from sunlight strengthens your immune system, we need to keep you afraid so you’ll buy our vaccine, so stay in your basement and remain scared.
4. Wash your brain for at least twenty seconds after every contact with social media.

Then what is the vaccine? Simple. Your state notary division’s website will have correct information about what your state’s notary laws and practices are. Some have newsletters or blogs as well. California has a great handbook and then has a blog of some sort. Not all of the info is in the handbook, so you could lose your commission over vague information in the handbook as to correct journal entry procedure. Wouldn’t it be easier to keep all pertinent information in one place? No! That would be too easy and we can’t have that!

Don’t believe what anyone says about notary law unless they are the Secretary of State’s Notary Division, or someone who is officially designated to teach Notary law. Please keep in mind that 123notary’s notary information is NOT state specific and might not apply to your state and might be outdated. Sorry to downplay our credibility, but I don’t want to mislead the public. Our information is in your best interests, but laws are different in each state and it is hard to keep up with them all.

Come to think of it, I just found out that the Virgin Islands and American Samoa are in the United States. Personally, I think we should sell the Virgin Islands to Al-Qaida, they just love virgins.

So, get the vaccine for Notaritus today, but checking in with your notary division, reading your handbook and going straight to the source for correct information rather than relying on your incompetent friends. When Jesus made reference to the blind leading the blind, he was really talking about Notary Facebook groups, he just didn’t know it at the time.