NOTARY: Do you swear under Oath?
SIGNER: I do
NOTARY: Well you should hear me swear under Oath. I swear whether I’m under a &%?-ing Oath or not.
SIGNER: So, what do I sign first?
NOTARY: Go to hell — here!
SIGNER: I’m signing this Affidavit that I swore to.
NOTARY: Have sex — that’s perfect!
SIGNER: I’m very fond of this document.
NOTARY: Fondle it!
SIGNER: My wife made me sign this.
NOTARY: Kill her. I’ll kill her!
SIGNER: That’s one way of solving my marital problems.
NOTARY: Having sex is another.
SIGNER: Just as long as it’s not with another.
NOTARY: So, what’s the next document — pervert!
SIGNER: My next document is a civil action.
NOTARY: There’s nothing civil about your two middle fingers.
SIGNER: Leave my fingers out of this.
NOTARY: Okay — have sex without fingers.
SIGNER: In that case I won’t be able to provide a digital signature.
NOTARY: I think we all know what I’m going to say next and where this is going.
SIGNER: You mean digital sex?
NOTARY: I’m rubbing off on you.
SIGNER: Kill a Notary
NOTARY: Am I that bad?
SIGNER: Go to hell. But, I’m an athiest and don’t believe in hell.
SIGNER: Nobody bless you!
NOTARY: Why Nobody?
SIGNER: Because I don’t believe in God or blessings. So I give non-blessings.
NOTARY: Okay, then go to non-hell.
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The Notary Asylum
Notarization for an exorcism