Me Too Movement Meets the Bank Notary
In this era of sensitivity when it comes to unwanted sexual behavior in the workplace, even bank notaries need to be mindful.
Male co-worker: (to female notary) “Ooh, I love your seal.”
Female notary: “I’d like to have HR ram it up your rear end for sexual harassment.”
Male co-worker: “Wait. How is having something rammed up my rear my end not sexual harassment?”
Female notary: “Typical guy. With you, everything’s sexual.
Male co-worker: “Are you willing to sign an affidavit swearing under penalty of perjury that with me, everything’s sexual?”
Female notary: “Why ‘affidavit’? Sounds like ‘David’. Why not ‘affiMary?’
Male co-worker: “Look, I realize we all need to be more sensitive and attuned to sexual equality. But isn’t that a little nuts?”
Female notary: “Nuts?”
Male co-worker: “As in ‘crazy,’ not… you know!”
Just then, the boss arrived and asked the female notary, “Can I see your journal?”
Female notary: “You may be my boss, but I’d really appreciate it if you keep your suggestive comments to yourself, sir. How much of my journal do you need to see?”
Boss: “I need to review the misfeasance report.”
Female notary: “Misfeasance? Why not… Miz..feasance?”
Just then, Matt Lauer and Harvey Weinstein enter the bank.
Matt: (to female notary): “Sweetheart, I need to get something notarized.”
Female notary (beaming): “You’re Matt Lauer!”
Harvey Weinstein: (to Matt): “Hey! Don’t call her sweetheart. That’s sexist!”
Female notary: (to Weinstein) “Shut up, you pig.”
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