ELLEN: Today we have a special treat for you. We have three Notaries who came in to tell us about their experience. And we a few surprises for them as well. Our first guest’s name is Tricia. Tricia has had some bad luck in the Notary industry, but maybe we can help. Hi Tricia.
TRICIA: Hi Ellen, you’ve always been my favorite.
ELLEN: Oh, great. Don’t tell your grandmother that.
TRICIA: And I have my coffee every day in an Ellen mug that I got at Warner Brothers.
ELLEN: Boy, what a small world, because I have my coffee every day in a mug that says Tricia. So, Tricia, tell me about your experience.
TRICIA: Well, I did close to a hundred signings for this particular signing company. They kept stringing me along and they never paid me. Boo hoo!
ELLEN: Oh no. Well, did you bill them?
TRICIA: I billed them, but there were just a bunch of excuses, and no check.
ELLEN: Oh there’s no excuse for that. Well there’s lots of excuses for that, but you know what I’m saying. Well we have a surprise for you. We have a man backstage who specializes in helping people recover late fees for services. He runs a collection agency called, “Pay me my money punk.”
TRICIA: (tears in her eyes.) Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me (sniffle.)
ELLEN: But, we need a little something from you. Do you like to play games?
TRICIA: Everything but chutes and ladders.
ELLEN: Well our games have a few chutes, but no ladders, except for the lighting crew, and they have insurance. Anyhoo, this game is called dodge the seal.
TRICIA: Okay. So, do I start out where the “x” is in the middle of the stage.
ELLEN: Yes, but don’t expect to stay there long after you sign a body sized signature of your name otherwise you will get stamped by a twenty-five foot wide foam Notary seal and will be covered with ink. After you sign the first signature, go to the signature and do the same thing.
TRICIA: Okay. (Tricia grabs the pen which is larger than she is, signs her name. Runs to the next signature, but the seal crashes down before she can sign. Then she returns to the second signature and gets stamped and covered with black ink from head to toe.
ELLEN: Oh, I’m sorry. I guess you got stamped. Now you see how life is on the other side of the table. You can wash up backstage. But, before you go. We have another surprise for you.
TRICIA: Another surprise? I’ve had enough surprises for a month Ellen.
ELLEN: Well, this one is a check for $10,000
TRICIA: Oh my God, oh my God, I can’t believe this is happening. Thank you Ellen.
ELLEN: You’re welcome
TRICIA: Oh, and one more thing before I clean up. You should have a show called Favorite Ellen moments. I have a favorite Ellen moment from twenty or so years ago. Remember on Finding Nemo you played the whale? That is my favorite Ellen moment. “Do you speak (voice goes up four octaves) whale (very low tone) …..”
ELLEN: I do speak whale, but right now I have to go to my next contestant. Good luck to you Tricia!!!
After that Ellen interviews some other Notaries. One claimed to be on the 123notary Notary of the Year list, but Ellen pointed out that 123notary doesn’t have Notaries of the year — busted! The third Notary wanted to get more business and Ellen instructed her to get Elite Certified by 123notary. Let us know if you like the Ellen show and we can do more in the future.
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