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October 20, 2018

A trip to a metaphysical bookstore

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: — admin @ 10:34 am

I read about Bodhi Tree metaphysical bookstore, a popular place in Los Angeles that is now only an online store. But, while they had a physical location, I called them up and asked what type of bookstore they were.

JEREMY: (ring-ring) Hello? Bodhi Tree? What type of bookstore are you?

BODHI TREE: We are a metaphysical bookstore.

JEREMY: Super. I’ll be right over.

So, I went into a transe, got my gatekeeper spirit to come… he guards the entry point to my body so that evil spirits do not enter my body while I leave my body. I leave my body, go to a metaphysical car rental place in the astral plain, rent a car, drive over to Bodhi Tree’s metaphysical location and find out that they are not there. What an ordeal! I come back into normal consciousness, and call Bodhi Tree again.

JEREMY: (ring-ring) Hi, Bodhi Tree?

BODHI TREE: Didn’t we hear from you an hour ago?

JEREMY: Yes, um… I went into the astral plain, and try to find your store on a metaphysical level, but it was not there. I rented an astral car and drove all over the metaphysical universe, but you were nowhere to be found.

BODHI TREE: Oh, no. We are a physical store.

JEREMY: Then WHY did you say you were a metaphysical bookstore?

BODHI TREE: Oh, because the books we sell are metaphysical.

JEREMY. (pause…) Oh! So, I need to drive my physical car to your physical store, which will have bookshelves that are all empty because your books are all metaphysical???

BODHI TREE: Ummm, well not exactly. Our books are physical books about metaphysical topics.

JEREMY: (pause…… ) Oh! ….. Now I understand. But, I can’t come this week.

(next week)

JEREMY: (ring ring) Bodhi Tree???

BODHI TREE: Sorry, but we have closed. But, visit our website if you want to order online. We are now an online store.

JEREMY: Looks like I will have to go to the underworld to visit their cyber store. Where is my gate keeper spirit??? I think it would be easier if their store really was a metaphysical store. But, then the lady at the counter might be a talking alligator. That is how the underworld is. Animals that talk, people who have faces that morph into other beings. Really weird. And then you come out of your transe, and everything is normal again. At least the way I do it. But, the way people do it in Peru is a little different. I’ll leave that to your imagination.

NOTARY: Hello, I am a metaphysical notary. Would you like me to notarize something?

JEREMY: Yes, I have a metaphysical document.

NOTARY: Sorry, I can’t notarize it because the certificate has out of state wording.

JEREMY: Darn!!!! At least the document is within our realm of consciousness though — just put that in the venue.

NOTARY: It doesn’t work that way, not if you are an m-Notary.

JEREMY: I’ve heard of an eNotary, but not an mNotary. I guess that is a metaphysical notary.

NOTARY: Yeah. Just make sure your commission doesn’t get terminated down here because that would be an eternity.

JEREMY: I’ll keep that in mind. By the way, there are no counties in the astral world. Only talking alligators!