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August 13, 2014

Notary Nook — a fast food restaurant for notaries

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — Tags: , , — admin @ 7:37 am

Drive-Thru Notary

The signer drives up to the drive-thru window at Notary Nook, where there is a giant hand with a menu and a microphone in the middle.

Welcome to Notary Nook
Girl: “Welcome to Notary Nook, may I take your order?”
Signer: “Yes, I’d like large acknowledgement.”
Girl: “You have a lovely voice!”
Signer: “No, not that type of acknowledgment!”
Girl: “One large acknowledgment coming up, would you like veri-fries with that?”
Signer: “Can you verify what a veri-fry is please?”
Girl: “Sorry, I can’t hear you, can you speak louder?”

Talk to the hand…
Girl: “Can you please back your car up. You are very far from the microphone. Talk to the hand!”
Signer: “Can you verify what that is?”
Girl: “A veri-fry is a fry that has been authenticated by one of our Apostilles”
Signer: “Oh, I thought an Apostille was a type of authentication.”
Girl: “In real life it is, but at our place, we call an authenticator an Apostille.
Signer: “Can I also get a small order of certi-fries from the value menu?”
Girl: “That’s a lot of fries! We need you to swear under Oath that you’re really hungry.”
Signer: “I swear it, so help me god! (belch)”
Girl: “I heard a belch, it sounds like you already had something to drink and perhaps eat. It looks like you just committed what we call Drive-Thru Notary Perjury!”
Signer: “Actually, I just had a beer, and now I need some solid food in me!”

Please sign the journal
Girl: “Please drive up to the window and sign the journal.”
Signer: “Okay, I’ll sign right here.”
Girl: “Can you let me see the document that you are acknowledging?”
Signer: “Can you promise me you won’t acknowledge this document with a huge grease stain?”
Girl: “You’re safer with an electronic signature. If you get a digital signature, we only use digital grease!”
Signer: “I’ll stick with a paper signature & acknowledgment. Let’s do the notary work first, and get my document back in the folder before you hand over the certi-fries and veri-fries.
Girl: “All ready. Here is your Acknowledgment. Would you like to get two blue pens for an additional 25 cents?”
Signer: “I swear I don’t. By the way, your dumpster is infested with JuRats!”
Girl: “Here are your fries sir. Please visit our other restaurants. We have a New England seafood restaurant called The Rusty Embosser. We have a fondue restaurant called, The Leaky Seal. And for Notorial fried chicken, try Journal Sanders.”

(1) Notary fast food items: Veri-fries, Certi-fries, Notorial friend chicken at Journal Sanders!
(2) Notary Value Menu: Veri-fries $1 — authenticated by one of our in-house Apostilles!
(3) Welcome to Notary Nook, may I take your order?

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