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December 29, 2013

Notarize This

Filed under: Movie Themes — admin @ 4:53 am

Notarize This

Notarize This” is a movie about a mafia notary and a Jewish shrink. It all starts out when Anthony is tired of the way his life is going.

Anthony: “I hate going to the gym and doing those hand strengthening exercises. All of my friends twisted my arm into doing it so I wouldn’t have a wimpy handshake”
David: “I understand how you feel. My friends are the same way. Well — not about the handshake thing, but about other things. They all want me to go to this writing workshop. Personally, I feel it is worthless unless you actually LIKE writing.”
Anthony: “Well, I think my handshake is good enough as it is. Let me show you.”
David: “I’m not sure if that’s a good id…… OOOOOOOOUCH — – LET GO OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yup, it is more than adequate.”
Anthony: “That’s what I told them, but they keep trying to get me to do more. Then there’s this other thing we do at the gym. We have this simulated leg thing, and we…”
David: “I think I see where this is going. I prefer not to hear the details. What about all the shady people you have to notarize. How do you feel about that?”
Anthony: “At first I kinda liked it. But, after I started reading the notary handbook, I realized that a lot of the stuff I’m being asked to do, isn’t exactly completely legal. I don’t wanna do no time in the can for that.”
David: “I see. I think we are getting somewhere. Have there been any requests that just rubbed you the wrong way?”
Anthony: “Actually, now that you mention it, I was asked to notarize Sully, but under the name Frankie. That really made me mad.”
David: “Have you ever tried hitting a pillow? Maybe that might make you feel better. It works for many people”

Anthony gets out this giant gold plated notary seal and rams the pillow on the sofa so hard that the sofa overturns.
Anthony: “Hmmm, you’re right. I never did that before. That DOES make me feel better.”

The next day

David is getting groceries and is about to load those groceries in the car
Guido: “Get in the car”
David: “But, what about my…” (smash… all of the eggs break)

David gets in the car as Guido grabs him from behind. The car is filled with Guido’s associates.
Guido: “We think you might know something about the notarization that Anthony was requested to do yesterday?”
David: “Well, as a shrink, I am sworn to secrecy. It is like being a priest in many ways.”
Guido: “Good, make sure none-a-dat gets disclosed to nobody — capiche?”
David: “Capiche! OWWWW…. let go of my %@$’s”
Guido: “Make sure dat doesn’t get out there”
David: “It won’t, believe me it won’t”.

That evening
Anthony: “I heard that my friends had a get together with you. Sorry about the groceries. I bought you a few things. They don’t like me seeing you by

the way.”
David: “I figured that out”
Anthony: “But, honestly nobody will be able to get that information out of you.”
David: “Really?”
Anthony: “Come with me”

Anthony and David go to the roof.
Anthony: “Come hear”
David: “I am here”
Anthony: “No –, not there here — here here…”
David: “Why?”
Anthony: “Just come here, I’m going to teach you something valuable, like what you would have learned if you had gone to those writing workshops”
David: “Oh…, I understand”
David: “Oh my god….. You’re actually dangling me off a building… I’m 100 feet above the ground. There goes my laundry money”
Anthony: “Are you scared? Are you gonna tell me about the Sully notarization?”
David: “What Sully notarization?”
Anthony: “You know da one I’m talkin’ about — the Sully notarization, where Sully is Frankie?”
David: “There was no such notarization. Someone who I don’t know asked you to do it, but you never did it”
Anthony: “Exactly — you know something — you’re smart — I like that! You ain’t gonna talk. You’re safe!”

At the end of the movie, the mafia guys who don’t like Anthony associating with David end up in jail, and Anthony goes straight. David
does a great job of making a model citizen of Anthony — well, apart from the thing with the pillow — but, we’ll overlook that.

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