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June 3, 2020

The Notary Museum

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — admin @ 10:11 pm

Welcome to the Notary Museum where Notary acts get lost in antiquity. Tickets are $10. $10 per signature, not per person. But, you have to sign one per person to get in. Make sure the signature matches the one on your identification. This museum is high security, so access to particular rooms is based on your thumbprint. Now that we have paid, please proceed to the atrium. To the right is our exhibit on prehistoric Notaries.

Here, we see a member of the subspecies of mankind, the Peking man (homo erectus pekingsis. He is attempting to go to his notary appointment in a tiger skin outfit while being chased by a triceratops. Good luck buddy. Wait, he is being approached by a dumb American asking him if he knows any good Chinese restaurants specializing in Peking dumplings and Zha-jiang Mian. His response is, and I quote, “Oooga booga.” So much for eloquent communication from this guy. Obviously he is not a foodie.

Next, we see an exhibit for Sumerian Notaries doing their work on stone tablets. I guess that is all they had, but try lugging them around all day. What a back breaker.

To the left, we see a Roman Notary. A sword in one hand and a Notary seal in the other. You just wonder if the seal is a secret weapon.

And during the Helenic period, we see a Greek Notary comparing his skills to a Persian Notary riding an elephant. My how times have changed.

During the Edo era in Japan, Samurai held an important role in protecting Notaries Public. Unfortunately in this exhibit, the Notary forgot to bow, and the inevitable happened. The samurai threw his stamp in the air and chopped in half to teach the Notary a lesson in manners. Can’t they just go out for California rolls and call the whole thing off?

In the next room, we see a British Notary in the 1700’s wearing a wig overseeing the signing of some critical documents as he turns his nose in the air.

At this point you need to go up a flight of stairs to see the exhibit on American Notaries. We see Jedediah P. Watson Notary Public notarizing on a plantation down South in this first American exhibit. You can see a slave bringing the document from the study room to the parlor where the signing is taking place.

The next room has a Notary notarizing a document about the Mexican-American war, but he refuses to notarize because the document was in Spanish. Typical. Meanwhile the signer is saying, “I didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us.”

And finally, a mobile Notary listed on 123notary in a car with airbags. I’m not sure how they got a Mini Cooper in the museum but they did. They Notary was a woman and carrying a gun just in case she had to go to a dangerous signing. Hey, it happens.

The next room is filled with notary stamps from around the world of every era — row, by row by row. There is even a statue of the Buddha getting Notaries with an antique stamp.

And finally, an exhibit dedicated to out of business signing companies who went under because they didn’t pay their Notaries.

I will end this silly article about a fictional Notary museum on this note.

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