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January 3, 2020

A notary and his grandfather order lunch

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 8:08 am

A Notary and his elderly grandfather meet up for lunch.

NOTARY: Um, I’ll have the grass fed hormone free burger with a whole grain pesticide free bun, organic tomato, lettuce and onion, a cage free egg, and a cruelty free side of bacon.

GRANDFATHER: Bacon and eggs please with a side of sour dough.

WAITER: Yes, would you like the omega-3 egg, Netherlands raised egg which is high in K-2, just a hormone free egg, or just a conventional egg?

NOTARY: Why do you have to make this so complicated? Omega-3 is supposed to be good, right?

GRANDFATHER: That will regulate your triglycerides if you still have any.

WAITER: I can’t choose for you, as that would be like you choosing the Notary act on behalf of your client. It’s just a no-no.

GRANDFATHER: While you’re still here. I’d like my sour dough toast to be cruelty free as well. I just can’t stand cruelty to grains or to bacterial culture.

NOTARY: Being a Notary Yuppie isn’t as easy as you think. I have to read up on what all of these health food terms mean. The cage free chickens still run around practically on top of each other like ants in an ant farm. If one gets sick, they all get sick, so they need anti-biotics which is really unhealthy for me to eat.

WAITER: Would you like the anti-biotic free cage free egg? Those are more like free range. They get to run around outside in shifts for 20 minutes a day.

GRANDFATHER: It sounds like being in jail when you get an hour in the yard for fresh air.

WAITER: I can’t believe people eat this. Perhaps we should all be vegan.

NOTARY: Now, you’re talking.

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