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December 15, 2019

Juratsic Park – Notary Version

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 9:05 pm

Back in 1990, an attempt was made to create a park to create bigger and better Notaries. But, the results were disastrous. Scientists discovered the genes of some giant human beings who had lived thousands of years ago. Some had dual rows of teeth. But, were these creatures really human, or were they semi-humans from outer space who settled here? The scientists found out how to recreate these creatures, and identified the genes that make them bigger as well. After a few years, a camp of several dozen huge people was born.

The people were given training to be Notaries, and huge Notary seals were made to suit their stature. They were given Notary commissions by their respective states and then let loose. That is when the problems
began. Thor did a signing for a particular signing company. He didn’t get paid. So, he went to the signing company to demand payment. He drove 1000 miles to Orange County, CA. He did not fit in the tiny door as he was 15′ tall, so he did some structural damage to the building, barged in and then held the signing company boss by his neck — Darth Vader style.

THOR: Give me the check. It must go to its real owner.

BOSS: But, we are behind in collecting from our customers.

THOR: That’s your problem, punk!

KELLY: Like, excuse me? Did you just call him a punk?

THOR: Stay out of this (he says to Kelly). Search your feelings, Sam. You know where the check is. Hand it over. Give in to your desire to fulfill obligations.

BOSS: The force is strong within you Thor. Wait a second, is this Star Wars or Juratsic Park?

THOR: Um, perhaps a little of both, it’s just the way I’m holding you by the throat is identical to a scene in Star Wars.

BOSS: Got it. Kelly, please call the storm troopers, I mean the police.

KELLY: Right away sir.

POLICE: (arrives shortly) Put your hands in the air sir.

THOR: Okay.. (does some ceiling damage because he is so tall.)

POLICE: Oh shoot, wrong choice of words, I can’t see anything because of all the dust from the ceiling damage. Hey, he’s getting away!

THOR: See you, cause I’d never want to be you.

POLICE: Too late. He got away. And we didn’t even get a good look at him. All we know is that he is tall. Why was he mad at you?

BOSS: Because we didn’t pay him for the signing he did three months ago.

POLICE: Oh, so you’re the bad guy. Would it kill you to pay people, because our department is already overbooked and we really don’t have time for this type of unnecessary nonsense.

BOSS: But, we haven’t been paid yet either.

POLICE: Then set some terms for when people should pay you, and don’t do business with people who take to long or fine them.

KELLY: We’ll look into that.

(meanwhile in Kansas)

SAMPSON: I’m here for my Notary signing.

BORROWER: I’m not sure this is going to work. The Notary seal is as big as a loan document.

SAMPSON: No problem, we’ll just use this Juratsic sized Jurat which has room for my giant seal.

BORROWER: Oh cool, let me take a photo of that and post it on Instagram.

SAMPSON: Can you get me in the photo too?

BORROWER: We’ll try. Do you think you could shrink?

SAMPSON: My genes have not exactly been designed for shrinking, sorry.

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