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December 10, 2019

Notary Networking Event

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — admin @ 8:31 am

Welcome to our networking event! We have people from all professions including Notaries!

ATTORNEY: Hi, I’m James. I am an Attorney. I am looking for new clients. I specialize in litigation for dog bites. Do your neighbors have dogs?

PLUMBER: My neighbor has a Chihuahua. I’m not too worried. I probably won’t be your client unless I go to Alaska. I heard people get bitten a lot by dogs there. In one year in Anchorage there were 600 dog bites, and only one bear bite, but people are afraid of bears.

ATTORNEY: That will cause your water pressure to rise.

NOTARY: I know, tell me about it. I am a Notary. I notarize documents. If you are an Attorney and don’t want to notarize for your client due to conflict of interest or lack of interest, or lack of time, or because you just frankly don’t want to — call me. I’m mobile and I do it all.

PLUMBER: I need an affidavit of water damage. I need to fix some pipes for someone because there was some damage. Do you do that?

NOTARY: Sure. How about an exchange. I’ll notarize a document for you and you can fix my toilet?

PLUMBER: Sounds like a crappy deal, crappy just like how I imagine the pipes in the toilet considering how much you crapped in it.

NOTARY: You’re right. How about two Affidavits?

REAL ESTATE AGENT: Oh, we need someone to fix the pipes in a building we are selling. And we need a Grant Deed Notarized. I came to the right networking event.

NOTARY: Aren’t we supposed to have wine & cheese?

HOST: Oh, it’s coming. We got it from a guy we networked with.

PLUMBER: Hey Notary, why don’t you ask the host if he needs his wine notarized?

NOTARY: Wine not! But, the table is a little low, so try not to pull a plumber when you lean over.

PLUMBER: Don’t worry, I just went on a diet and my pants actually fit me now.

NOTARY: Oh, do you need your pants notarized?

HOST: Okay — enjoy folks!

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I’m not that kind of notary

He took Jeremy’s advice and got new title companies


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