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November 25, 2019

An armed robber steals only the Notary seal

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 5:55 am

Frank was at home with his wife Stella. They were having Earl Grey tea and crumpets. Yeah, they like it British style and nobody could figure out why. Then a robber broke down their door and came into the living room where the couple was sipping their tea.

ROBBER: I want it — hand it over!

FRANK: Hand over bloody what?

ROBBER: Is that a glottal stop?

FRANK: Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t.

ROBBER: I’ve always wanted to know how to do a glottal stop.

FRANK: It’s easy really, you just make an abrupt “uh” sound in the end of a word.

ROBBER: Wow, so it’s that easy. Hey! Why are we talking about this. This is a robbery.

FRANK: Oh yeah, I almost forgot. The jewelry is in the drawer over there.

ROBBER: I don’t want your damn jewelry.

STELLA: It’s not very expensive anyway. I got it mostly at thrift shops. My hubby is too much of a cheap skate.

ROBBER: Men! Oh wait a second, I’m a man too. Why am I on this tangent. Okay. I want your seal. Hand it over!

FRANK: I can’t give that to you, that would be illegal.

ROBBER: Well I’m a robber, so my least concern is whether something is legal or not.

STELLA: But, we would report it and if you used the seal you would get locked up.

ROBBER: Not if I backdate.

FRANK: The investigators would check my journal to confirm the record and there won’t be a record, so you will still get caught.

ROBBER: I’ll escape before anyone finds out.

FRANK: Yes, but that will nullify the point of the fraudulent activity because any financial gain you get will be reversed when the paper trail is investigated. Besides, you can just make a photocopy of someone’s seal on a document and nobody will know the difference unless forensics looks into it. Happened to me and yes, forensics did look into it. That is also a crime with prison time by the way if it involves real property.

ROBBER: Damn you Notaries. Why do you have to be so damn smart. Now, what were you saying about jewelry?

STELLA: Second hand stuff. The turquoise is fake, but looks great. Is it for your wife?

ROBBER: Of all the Notaries I could have robbed. Does this one look good on me?

STELLA: It goes with your eyes.

FRANK: I texted the police while you were trying on the jewelry. But, yes, I agree with Stella. It compliments you.

ROBBER: Oh does it? You what? Uh oh.

FRANK: Hey you did it?

ROBBER: Did what?

FRANK: The glottal stop when you said “uh oh”.

ROBBER: Cool. Well. Gotta run before the po po come over.

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