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December 30, 2019

Notary Jive Turkey

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:03 pm

A Notary gets assigned to sign a document written in Jive. But, let’s remember the movie Airplane.

I was in the supermarket and the fish market clerk and I were calling each other jive turkeys. The next thing we knew (coincidence?) the actor (now really old but still handsome) waltzed in and the fish market guy knew that this particular guy was the star in Airplane who spoke Jive and needed a translator to talk to the stewardess.

SIGNER: Hey man? Can you notarize this document my brother?

NOTARY: Hmmm, it seems to be written in Jive. I don’t speak Jive.

SIGNER: You jiving me man. It don’t matter if you jive or if you don’t jive just as long as the notarization feels right and will cut it with the recording office — you dig?

NOTARY: I dig. And one more thing. You ain’t nothin’ but a jive turkey!

SIGNER: Hey man… Ken is the one who likes turkeys, not me. I might talk some jive, but I ain’t no turkey my man.

NOTARY: All…. right… Outa sight! But, I will have to fill out the notarial wording also in jive my brother.

SIGNER: I’m afraid that that will not do… you see, certificates must be written in the language of the state. La langue d’etat for those of us who speak French — the language of love.

NOTARY: That’s French? You jiving me.

SIGNER: Au contraire, mon frere. That’s the real deal homie, over there. And you can believe that as a verified fact. Hot dog — and where!

NOTARY: Okay, you win. I will fill out the certificate in English, cause I ain’t no jive turkey! Hell no. If the certificate is filled, you must… be thrilled.

SIGNER: Amen to that brother. Now sign and weep so I can get my derriere out this place… you dig?

NOTARY: Hallelujah. There you go. One notarized document that jives with everyone.

SIGNER: I heard that. See you soon Notarial jive turkey!

NOTARY: Gobble gobble — ha.. haaaaaaa! Can’t wait until Thanksgiving when I will be the guest of honor.

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