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August 25, 2019

Hashtag #awkward

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:50 pm

A Notary goes to get tacos on his way to a signing. But, he has never been to that taco place before.

LADY: We eat here all the time. Have you ever been here before?

NOTARY: No, this is my first time… umm. Oh God, that came out sounding horrible. Umm. What I meant was this is my first time here, not my overall first time ummm, embarrasing, now I’m sounding even worse. Hmm. Let’s change the topic. Do you like al pastor tacos?

LADY: Are you a comedian or something? You had us both laughing.

NOTARY: Laughing at me or with me?

LADY: A little of both, but at least you made us laugh. So, what are you doing after having tacos?

NOTARY: Oh God. Umm. I’m doing a loan signing.

LADY: Oh, do you do a lot of that?

NOTARY: Here we go again. No. It is my first time doing that too. I’m new at a lot of things.

LADY: Oh… So, do you like to try new things?

NOTARY: Hashtag awkward. I feel like this is a Jack in the Box commercial. I don’t know. I guess it depends on what the things are.

LADY: Well, what are you doing after the signing? After all, I like a Notary who can make a girl laugh.

NOTARY: Let’s see, the term “girl” seems to be an overstatement… Oh God… Awkward.

LADY: Hey, I’m 43, but I look young, okay?

NOTARY: Yes, I guess it’s a figure of speech.

LADY: Please leave my figure out of it. Even my speech is watching its figure, that is why I got the lettuce wraps.

NOTARY: Oh (enthusiastically) that is a good idea. And you do look young for 43. You look like a young 43, like you are closer to 42, but right after your birthday.

LADY: What an awkward compliment — but, I’ll take it. Sounds like the compliment I made when I was abducted by a 435 year old extra terrestrial. I told him he didn’t look a day over 429 and he said thank you… I think. They erased a lot of my memory after that trip so it is hard to remember the exact verbiage.

NOTARY: I am going home to sleep. But, I will think about you for sure.

LADY: Would you like to check my ID to make sure I’m really a young 43?

NOTARY: You talked me into it. Waiter — more salsa please!

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