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July 24, 2019

I’m not that kind of Notary

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 4:51 am

It all started during a routine call. I asked a Notary if she did Helocs. She said, “I’m not that kind of Notary.” I then said that there is nothing wrong with Helocs. Unless it is below your standards. She said again, “I’m not that kind of Notary.” I felt like I had asked her to do something wrong, or dirty.

Notaries who worked at saloons in the Old West used the same type of rhetoric. People asked them to do all types of things. Each girl had their own standards and there were certain things they just wouldn’t do. One girl wouldn’t notarize for old guys. Another wouldn’t notarize for guys who smoked. A third would not notarize for guys who used bad language. And then there was Sassy. She would notarize for you even if you couldn’t hold a pen properly.

Sassy was a favorite of guys who went to saloons to get notarized. Their strategy was to get Sassy good and drunk — and then she would notarize anything, for anyone, anytime. But, if you asked her for the very same thing when she sobered up she would conveniently say, and emphatically say, “I’m not that kind of Notary!”

So, there you have it folks. Notaries in the cyber age, saloon age and stone age. The technology changes, but women do not. So, if you ever hire a woman to do a double reverse mortgage, you should first ask, “Are you the kind of girl who does double reverse mortgages?” Just don’t be surprised if you get a response such as, “Well I should say not!”

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1 Comment »

  1. I feel ambivalent about rev mortgages. On one hand I can see where the situation is the best solution for the client, on the other, and I don’t have a financial advisory background, it would seem more sensible to sell and downsize. But that is my opinion and cannot be shared at the signing table. Rev mortgage applications are often undersold with a fee that will only be slightly above pro bono work. Keep in mind when accepting one that it could take two hours to complete. I will ask for more money than the fee offered and only accept one every two weeks. You cannot rush a client and rev mortgages are with elderly signers so patience is a must.

    Comment by Jasmin K — September 12, 2019 @ 12:59 pm

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