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June 23, 2019

Delayed because of a bunch of escaped cows

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 12:19 pm

She was on her way to a Notary signing. All was going well. She made that left turn into the pasture and then, whammo! She couldn’t move forward due to a herd of escaped cows. Don’t you hate it when that happens? So, like a good and patient Notary, she waited for the cows to drift on. But, that is not how I would have handled the situation.

First of all, when God deals you a cow problem, you need a cow solution, and that generally implicates tuning into cow consciousness. Let’s close our eyes and meditate. Instead of saying ohm, we will say moooooooo.

I would go up to the cows and have a conversation with them about what’s going on and don’t they have a home somewhere? Then, I would use my shamanic mental powers and convince them that they want to travel in a particular direction.

If the spiritual mumbo jumbo didn’t work, I would resort to linguistic methodologies.

mmmmmmmmmmm-oooooove over please. Please mooove over. And by the way, is it true that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence? Mooooooooooooo!

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