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December 26, 2018

A dream about a notary bathroom experience

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: , — admin @ 10:55 am

Ah, but it was all a dream.

(harp music)

I was driving along and had to go to the dentist. I got my cleaning. Then I needed to use the restroom. The lady up front gave me a huge toothbrush with a key attached to it. I did my business and returned the key.

Then, I went to the NNA to pick up some journals. Since it was hot outside I had to keep drinking water and needed to use the restroom again. I was given a megasized Notary seal with a key attached to it.

Finally, I was on my way home on a long expanse of road. There were no stores for miles. In real life there would be a lot of stores, but this was a dream. Then my car broke down — definitely a dream symbology moment about how my life is going. The only store nearby was an adult toy store. As luck would have it, I needed to use the bathroom. They gave me a huge xyz that was 18 inches long with a key attached to it (perhaps another dream symbol for fertility?) In any case, the tow truck came as I was in the bathroom and I went running out.

The tow truck guy asked, “Is that a plantain in your hand or are you just happy to see me?”

This dream (just a story I made up, this dream never happened) is symbolic of my trip to New Mexico in June. I got dehydrated near Four Corners. It was 96 degrees and 10% humidity. I had just gotten a Navajo taco on a fry bread. I was driving south and my hands started going numb. This has never happened except when I am sleeping. I panicked. I decided the reason for this was too much sitting, and also dehydration in the dryness. So the next day I had coconut water, Gatorade, and lots of water. I pre-hydrated and drank far too much. I needed to go to the bathroom but there were none. There was no place to pull off the road in rural New Mexico. Finally I saw a ranch driveway and pulled over and did my business.

The part of the trip from Phoenix back to Los Angeles was brutal. It was 112, dry as a bone, and the brightness was killing me since I have no sunglasses. Maybe I should buy some. I was getting light headed. After a coconut water I felt a lot better. The minerals in that are magic. I have decided to take some Chinese herbs for circulation because my circulation has been horrible since I quit alcohol. That red wine really cleans up arteries which is why the French live so long.

Sorry for the obscenity in this article, but I thought it was funny. I thought of it as the dental assistant gave me the huge toothbrush bathroom key.

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