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December 27, 2018

Ex-Notary, Ex-Con

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 10:51 am

An Ex-Notary and an Ex-Con got together to talk about life. The con artist told the Notary about all the nasty things he had done. The Notary told him about all the jobs he had done. They talked for hours. At the end of the conversation, the con artist (who knew something about notary law) told the Notary that many of the jobs the Notary had performed were done illegally.

NOTARY “What do you care about if something is legal?”

CON ARTIST “I may be a con artist, but I have to be an expert at law to avoid getting busted for something. You on the other hand have been breaking the law your entire commission thinking nothing of it and never got caught… ”

NOTARY “Who me? I never did anything illegal.”

CON ARTIST “Your stories indicate that you declined legal transactions which is illegal and accepted illegal transactions simply because you were comfortable doing that. You failed to administer Oaths when required and mailed loose certificates in the mail which is also completely illegal.”

NOTARY: “Nothing I did was illegal.”

CON ARTIST: “I could make a list of incriminating things you have done. Maybe you are the con artist as you are conning the public out of honest and legal Notary service. And now you are trying to con me into thinking you are on the level. You can’t con a con you know. You think that because you were comfortable with particular actions — that made them okay. Not true in the eyes of the law. The law doesn’t care what you are comfortable with.”

NOTARY: “That makes no sense.”

CON ARTIST: “You declined service to Joe who signed his Acknowledgment prior to seeing you. That is fine. The verbiage does not say he is supposed to sign in your presence. It just says he appears before you and acknowledge having signed the instrument.”

NOTARY: “Well, I’m more comfortable if he signs in my presence.”

CON ARTIST: “The legal wording doesn’t mention your comfort level, it just says what the signer has to do. You denied a legal request which is illegal. You are a criminal.”

NOTARY: Me? I thought YOU were the criminal.

CON ARTIST: “I’m honest with myself about what I did with my life. You are not. I am straight with myself and friends about being a con. You are also a con, but in denial.”

NOTARY: “Who me?”

CON ARTIST: “I conned to make a living. You con out of pure stupidity. Time to learn Notary law. Please consult your state Notary handbook. Isn’t it ironic that I care more about the integrity of your job than you do and that I care more about being law abiding than you do?”

NOTARY: “That is because you are smart and don’t want to end up in jail. I know that the only guy who is ever going to bust me for not knowing proper Notary procedure is Jeremy and the worst thing he can do is remove me from his directory.”

CON ARTIST: “Or when he comes to his senses he can report you to your Secretary of State for failing to administer an Oath when required.”

NOTARY: “Yeah, but that was only on a test question, so that doesn’t count.”

CON ARTIST: “Good point. No paper trail. You and I have a lot in common.”

NOTARY: “Yup, except I am an ex-Notary.”

CON ARTIST: “And I am an ex-Con.”

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