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August 25, 2017

The 10 Notary Commandments

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 9:41 am

After Moses wandered the desert for forty years, he could be forgiven for being too tired to carry anything more than ten commandments. But there were ten additional ones we at 123Notary would like to pass on to you now. The notaries have been praying to the wrong god all these years. They thought the NNA was the notary God. But then 123notary published a blog stating that this was misinformation, and Jeremy at 123notary was the real notary God! But the Secretary of State wrote a certified letter to Jeremy stating they were the real Notary God, because they had the ability to create and destroy notary commissions.

Jeremy had this response after he sneezed… “Me bless me; And since there is only one of me, but 51 of you (one per state, plus D.C.), therefore I must be the Notary God, since there can only be one God. Plus I have a thunder and lightning machine in his basement I bring out of the closet for holidays. ”

On to the commandments…

1) You shall have no other notary Gods before me, unless you have a high placement on 123notary and are paid at least twelve months in advance.
2) You shall not make for yourself a carved image, unless it’s an image of your notary seal.
3) You shall not take the name of Jeremy in vain, even though Jeremy calling himself God is very vain.
4) Remember the Day of Rescission by keeping it holy. Today you shall labor and do your work, but on the third day, not including Sundays and federal holidays, it is a Day of Rescission that you offer to the Lord, Your God.
5) Honor your Secretary of State and County Clerk, so that you may live long in the land of the Notary Lord.
6) You shall not kill time unless you charge waiting time in advance.
7) You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor while under oath by a notary who advertises on 123notary, unless he has a free listing.
8) You shall not backdate. (Steal time)
9) You shall not covet your neighbor’s high-paying company clients.
10) You shall not add on a meaningless commandment just to end a notary blog.


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The Atheist’s Bible for swearing in Affirmations to non-believers

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