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July 28, 2017

The Mafia Notary with the violin case (and wine)

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 9:04 am

There once was a Notary named Giuseppe. He liked to dress nice to signings. He wore a pinstriped suit, a white tie, a hat, and very shiny Italian shoes. He would even bring a nice bottle of wine from Piedmont, Italy to the signing with a case for several wine glasses.

But, Giuseppe always arrived at signings with a violin case. The borrowers asked if he was a musician. He said, that this was where he kept his Notary seal and pads of certificates. He also offered other services.

“Just let me know if you ever need a body to disappear. I know people who can make that happen — capiche? Or if you don’t want a credible witness to testify, I have ways of keeping people quiet – you know?”

The borrowers got creeped out by this character and complained one after another to the signing companies. But, the signing companies kept hiring Giuseppe because he was never late.

But, then one day came when he was 20 minutes late to a signing. That was the one day when he had to “take care of business.” He picked his daughter up from school, drove a few miles East, knocked someone off with his daughter sitting in the car not suspecting a thing, and then went to the signing.

After a while, the signing companies all started talking to each other and decided not to use him. But, Giuseppe needed a front for his other businesses. What would he do? He decided to work for the Notaries. He was an expert at collections in addition to doing flawless Notaries. All of the signing companies who fired him would soon regret, as he would be collecting from them on behalf of all the Notaries out there who weren’t getting paid.

His new career worked out well until one day, someone from New Branch Signing Service was found buried up to their neck in concrete. There was only one suspect, but not a single witness. Miraculously, the guy who got charged for the murder was another guy who the signing company owed money to for doing a construction job. He had no alibi. So, the moral of the story is, always pay your Notaries and… never fire a guy who wears a white tie!

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