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July 7, 2017

5 New Official Notary Acts

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 8:50 am

My comedy writer and I decided that the existing Notary acts are boring, and that we should create some new and more interesting ones. So, here they are!

Notary Ax – For New Yorkers who can’t pronounce “notary acts.”

Adjustment: Swearing you signed the document on a certain date, but you wrote down the wrong date and it needs to be adjusted. If your notary is a chiropractor, you go for multiple adjustments. If your notary is a nude chiropractor, there are other cracks that have nothing to with adjustments.

Wine Certification – Certifying that a wine is good during a wine tasting. A particular wine had two notes but no closing disclosure, because the cork broke so they couldn’t close the bottle. Was it the wine that had a lot of notes, or the mortgage? Both.

Marriage Officiation – The form has to have room for both parties to sign. He and she. Or he and he. Or she and she. Thanks to the hes and shes on the Supreme Court who went for the hes and hes and shes and shes. Why was the lady’s mother pleased she married a mortgage broker? He had many good points.

Divorce Officiation – Where the notary executes a document to prevent the he and she, or he and he, or she and she, from executing each other.

Disavowment – A notary act where you swear you didn’t sign a document. “That’s not my signature. I didn’t sign that. It doesn’t even look like my signature. A bad forger must have did that!” “What happens when a forger gets his signature forged? Does that make it valid?”

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