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June 23, 2017

Your Highness or My Highness? Notaries in the Age of Pot

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Humorous Posts — admin @ 8:47 am

Your Highness or My Highness? Notaries in the Age of Pot

Warning — you might get high smoking this… I mean reading this document. How’s that for the pot calling the kettle black?

Putting words like Felon or Marijuana in a blog title is excellent, because those are great buzzwords, especially when the blog is about marijuana or other substances that get you buzzed.

I live in Los Angeles where I inhale a regular amount of second hand marijuana smoke just walking down the street. People think it’s okay to do drugs in public here. Maybe because it’s “legal,” that makes it okay. I don’t know if those micro-doses are good for me or not, but it might calm me down. It’s stressful dealing with 7000 irate Notaries every day.

Yesterday, a Supreme Court Justice ruled in favor of allowing Notaries to smoke marijuana while performing official Notary acts. What a stupid ruling — he must have been high when he made that decision. If you hire a Notary who smokes pot and he asks for a form of identification, don’t ask for his too. He’s paranoid enough that you might be a cop. Legal or not, old fears never die. Also be sure you bring munchies for when he’s finished, assuming the second-hand smoke doesn’t make you forget you brought munchies.

Some people claim that smoking marijuana increases your intelligence or makes you more creative. Michelangelo didn’t have to smoke pot. The air up there at the Sistine Chapel was high enough. I can see how pot could open channels in your brain, a la the ones in my cable package I never watch. However, being a Notary is more about keeping channels narrow, obeying the narrow word of the law, and making sure your signers do too.

Another point of view, is that some of the Notaries these days are so dumb that smoking marijuana would probably make for an improvement. Would it make them smart enough to realize they’re dumb when they aren’t smoking pot? I’ll smoke some pot and get back to you on that.

Finally, most Notaries are so resistant to studying loan signing and taking our test that a little toke of Mary Jane might get them through this arduous endeavor. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the high pressure sodium lights in your closet.

Speaking of the relaxing of legal barriers, a left-wing judge ruled in favor of no longer banning felons from becoming Notaries as that constitutes an unfair type of discrimination. (Not to be confused with a fair type of discrimination, rejecting people on dating sites who aren’t cute enough.) So, don’t be surprised if the next time you have a loan signing, an ex-gang banger from MS13 shows up with a shaved head, neck tattoos, and a few bullet holes in his shoulder and asks you to sign his journal. Next thing you know, that ex-gang banger might find it possible to become a Supreme Court Justice — after all, banning him would be discrimination. Unless he’s nominated in the final year of a Democratic President’s term. In which case, the only banging will be the head of the government’s head against the wall as Republicans refuse to meet with the ex-gang banger. But enough politics. This second-hand buzz is giving me the munchies.


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  1. Hilarious! Thanks for the morning laugh;)

    Comment by Laura Kays — April 30, 2018 @ 12:30 pm

  2. Jeremy. I’m done with you.

    Comment by Laurence Menzel — May 19, 2018 @ 3:38 pm

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