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October 28, 2016

Notaries and their pets

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: — admin @ 12:06 pm

Notaries talk about getting paid, but rarely talk about their pets. Maybe it should be the other way around.

Kangaroo — a Marsupial Public
The best Notary pet I can think of would be a kangaroo. This marsupial comes equipped with a pocket where you can put your Notary Seal and then hop to your job. Just don’t park your “roo” in the driveway — it’s bad manners. Additionally, think twice before asking, “May I ask permission to bring my kangaroo in so she can use the bathroom?” Kangaroos are also good if you are in a bad neighborhood as they are good at kicking people they don’t like. One guy married a kangaroo because he wanted somebody with deep pockets.

Seal
Our industry’s mascot animal is the Seal. This marine mammal hangs around on the beach sunning itsself. It doesn’t seem concerned about signing companies just as long as its whiskers stay shiny.

The Stamp Fish
This is a close relative to the hammerhead shark. It is a shark-type fish with a Notary seal on its head. Jacque Cousteau had a deep fascination with this bizarre species.

Embossigator
This is not the type of pet you want playing with your children. The embossigator has a strong oral grip, but no actual teeth. It has a round bite and anything that gets bitten by this species will have an imprint that looks like the impression of an embosser. Found only in remote swamps of Florida and Louisiana, it is not considered dangerous, but we caution children to avoid contact with the mouth of this species for obvious reasons.

The Canadian Midwestern Prairie Fax
If you pronounce fox with a Midwestern accent it sounds more like “fax.” But, this unique animal can telepathically send information. It runs around with a portable printer and fax machine and has done so in nature for the last several million years. A dear friend to fellow Notaries, this animal, not the seal, should be our industry’s mascot animal.

Eagle
If you are a Notary who wants to be more American or appear that way. I personally recommend going to some pow-wows to see what real American culture is about. But, you could also adopt an eagle. You could not have a more “talon”-ted pet!

Aardvark
This pet might not be much to look at, but will get you 1st in the phone book next to AAA Notary Service. Aardvark Notary Service and Apostille.

POA-constrictor
This poisonous snake can wrap around your signers and squeeze them to death if they don’t sign their Power of Attorney. Also, their poison can be sucked out and you can make a blood sample for a Trusted Enrollment Agent to deliver.

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