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September 22, 2016

A Notary country

I wrote a piece about a Notary planet, but what about a Notary country? A Notary country would need to have border crossings. That would be the highlight of a Notary country as you would be forced to show your ID and give a digital signature every time you crossed. There would have to be a Notary president, congress, and representatives. But, how would the country function and what would be unique about it?

Roads & Dining
Roads would be a lot better in a Notary country since everybody would be a traveling Notary and would need to get around. To fund the better roads, there might be toll booths, or if Carmen Towles (pronounced “tolls” were running them then “Towles” booths. You would have to pay at Towles booths, but also sign a digital signature. To go to a restaurant, you would have to book a seat by signing a digital signature as well. Every action of every day would revolve around digital signatures to the point that you would have to sign a digital signature to get a digital signature.

The Capitol
The capitol of the country would have a capitol building shaped like a giant Notary seal. Inside instead of an oval office, there would be the oval embosser office. Perhaps they might use gold plating on the dome of the top of the Notary seal. Then, next to the capitol building, the next most important bulding would be the national clerk where all notarial records would be held. It would be a building the size of several football fields. Airport terminals would be the shape of Notary seals.

Armed Forces
The military would have special weapons of mass destruction — instead of stink bombs, ink bombs! Instead of Atom bombs, Affiant bombs. Instead of Navy Seals — okay, bad example, we’ll keep the Navy Seals, and have Air Seals (air-tight air seals) as well.

Transportation
Rail would be the primary form of transportation around the Notary Country. You’d have to swear an Oath to get on the train though. Each car of the train would look like a giant Notary stamp.

School
Children would go to school to learn to read and write. There would be some music and physical education as well. But, the most important task they would learn would be learning how to notarize documents and identify people. Of course in a country dedicated to Notary work, the identification process would be much more evolved and probably involve retinal scans, checking ID serial numbers in Federal databases, thumbprint scanning and more.

Burial
After the residents of this great nation died, they would be buried in a notary cemetery with Notary stamp shaped gravestones that would have their commission number and two expiration dates — one for their commission and the other for their life!

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