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May 25, 2016

Financing a Kidney

Filed under: General Stories — Tags: , , — admin @ 10:40 pm

Few Notaries have ever been called to finance a kidney. But, one Notary was recently called for just such a job. The Notary was a stickler about ethics which caused somewhat of a problem. As you may be aware, organ trafficking is a serious issue and is often illegal and can be a serious crime.

So, the Notary was doing the signing for the Finkles. As they were signing the documents, in passing the Notary asked, “So, what is the collateral for this loan if you can’t pay back your kidney?”

The guy who announced himself as the Mortgage Broker laughed loudly showing a lot of gold teeth and said, “We cut the kidney out of him and take his liver as interest… ha ha ha!”

The Notary was a bit taken back by this, but recognized the thick Russian accent and the gravely voice. Maybe this Mortgage Broker was really part of the Russian mob and perhaps the gravely voice was from too much vodka and smoking. Perhaps his license was a semi-automatic that they keep in a briefcase — the briefcase below the table.

So, the Notary awkwardly asked, “Can I see your Mortgage license?”
The mobster said, “We don’t need a license for this type of loan. Just a kidney and a gentleman’s agreement.”

The Notary wondered what the origin of the kidney was. It was probably from one of the people they knocked off on a hit. The Notary pondered the ethical ramifications of this method of harvesting and confluded that it was better than killing someone specifically for their kidney. Since they had to die anyway for some unbeknown reason, nobody would know the difference — although there would be suspicion!

Then the Notary said, “Here’s my card in case you need to refinance the kidney in a few years. I specialize in refinances and equity loans. The borrower might want to start a credit line on that kidney. I heard a kidney is worth a lot these days and with interest rates so low…” The mafia boss informed him that they only do initial loans or “Purchases.”

To conclude this story, I would like to say that I think the Russian mob might need a liver transplant since they drink too much. But, since they die in combat while young, they avoid this painful operation. Until someone invents alcohol-free vodka!

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