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May 11, 2016

What have you signed for me lately? The signing for Janet Jackson

Filed under: General Stories — Tags: — admin @ 12:23 pm

Note from Jeremy:
I have heard the debate about putting a woman on the $10 bill. Personally, I feel that we should keep Jackson on the $10 bill. However, we should change it from Andrew to Janet. That way whenever I look at the bill, I’ll wonder — what have you done for me lately?

A signing for Janet Jackson
AKA — what have you signed for me LATELY?
I had a signing once for someone on Janet Jackson’s crew. I usually am extremly calm around talent, but in this case, I was flustered as I LOVE Janet Jackson. So flustered, in fact, that after the signing was done, I left my car key and phone on the table. I walked all the way back to my car,a nd had to turn around to go right back. Janet teased me for forgetting! She knew I had to come back for them!

Just out of the shower
I’ve had several strange signings happen involving musicians or actors in their hotel rooms. One was in bed and naked, and so I told him to cover up with a blanket and don’t get up out of the bed to get the door for me. We did the signing with the blanket over him in bed. I had shown up once and there was a musician in the shower who stuck his head out and said that he’d be out in a minute and came out with wet hands to do the signing. I refused to shake his hand because it was wet.

Signing for a pornographer
Once I had a signing for a boat loan for a man who was the number one pornographic distributer in the southeast. We were supposed to meet at a restaurant and he forgot to print his papers so we rescheduled to meet at his office. I walked into his office and he had models of a woman’s behind on his desk. He said he used to be an actor too and started telling me his stories and I had to stop him, telling him that I really didn’t want or need to know about his past movie experience of being 20 years in the industry. I got the signing done and got out of there as fast as I could!

Farm animals at a signing
I had a closing once that was quite memorable. The person who needed the signing done owned some farm animals. I met the animals as the owner showed me around the large yard when I arrived at the house. I met a horse, a huge pig, and a sweet black and white goat named Elvis. Elvis took a liking to me, bucked and followed me around from the moment he met me. He then proceeded to stand in front of me the entire time as I did the closing.

An out of control little girl
I once had a closing with the most challenging little girl that I had ever seen. I went to the house where the signing was to take place. The couple’s granddaughter was there and she was completely off the wall and out of control. She was super high energy and did not take well to directions at all and pretty much did what she wanted to do despite anything that the adults had asked her to do. She was 8 years old – really old enough to know how to behave properly but she was in her own world, I guess. In order to do the closing, I gave her my phone to keep her occupied so that I could get through the closing faster and out of the house. She started taking videos of everything – the refrigerator, the cabinet, etc. Then, at some point, she comes up to me and says, ” I have a secret to tell you!” Meanwhile, I’m cringing as my stomach lurches, and I’m thinking, Oh, I so don’t want to know or need to know her secret! She took a video in the bathroom and then told me that she peed on the toilet but forgot to put the toilet seat up! I was beyond shocked, and also not happy that she took my phone into the bathroom with her! So the moment I was out of that house I had to disinfect my phone once I got into my car. Next time I won’t be handing over my phone to an out of control child, and I hope to never be at that house again either!

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