May 2019 - Page 2 of 3 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice -

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May 17, 2019

Can you scan loan docs back using a cell phone?

Filed under: Notary Mistakes — admin @ 11:08 am

Can you scan loan docs back using a cell phone?

Yes, but should you? Notaries commented on forums that cell phone scans are unclear and unprofessional. If you want to get fired, then do what you like. But, for nice clear scans, use a professional machine or better yet, get a portable.

You can use whatever equipment you like so long as the output is clear. Maybe a higher end iPhone will do the trick… or not. I don’t know because I am not a technical guy. Or better yet, ask your employer and they can recommend what they want. The main thing is to not get fired. You are not assigned notary work for your convenience but for the convenience of others — something that notaries conveniently forget!

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May 16, 2019

Notary Quiz of the day

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:30 am

Notaries hate being tested, but love reading Notary tests on blog entries for some reason. I’ll have to ask my psychic why that is. Maybe it is because they are not on the spot with this. Here is a fun quiz of the day.

1. Notaries notarize
(a) Documents
(b) People
(c) Signatures
(d) Signatures on Documents
(e) People’s signatures on documents.

2. Initials. If you initial a change on a loan document, where should the initial go?
(a) To the right of the crossed out text
(b) To the left of the crossed out test
(c) Above the crossed out text
(d) Anywhere around the crossed out text
(e) Below the crossed out text to the right.

The processor I used to work for did not want me to cross out the text, but initial below the text and below the right end of the text. The processing dept. would do the rest according to good old Emily. I wonder how she is.

3. What is the difference between a conflict of interest, interest, financial interest, and beneficial interest? This reminds me of the joke about the Mortgage Broker who left the industry in 2008 because he lost interest.

4. A Notary was asked to notarize a document with no signature line. What should the notary do?
(a) Ask the borrower to write in a signature line.
(b) Tell the borrower that he cannot notarize the document without a signature and signature line.
(c) Write in the signature line himself.
(d) Refuse to notarize the document.
(e) Call Carmen at 123notary and ask for help.

5. A Notary does a job for an old lady at a hospital notarizing a document. The notary asked the lady if she understood the document and she said yes. Two months later all parties were in court because the lady did not understand what she had signed. What should the notary have done?
(a) Ask the lady to paraphrase the document.
(b) Tell the lady how he went to the white house to visit President Johnson and see how she reacts.
(c) Stick to jail signings — they might be criminals, but at least they are in their right mind (whatever that means.)
(d) Start a conversation about current events to do a “reality test.”

6. A Notary was asked to notarize at the peace process. The Palestinians said you can’t have peace without a process. The Israelis said you can’t have peace without security. The Notary said you can’t have a notarization without a signature. After a long discussion, the Palestinians wanted to be acknowledged twice for one signature, Since the Israelis wouldn’t acknowledge the existence of their people, at least a Notary could acknowledge their signature twice to compensate. What is wrong with this picture?

(a) The Palestinians wanted to trade one Israeli signatures they had captive for two hundred Palestinian signatures as a peace initiative.
(b) The signer is the only one who can acknowledge a signature, not a Notary.
(c) An Israeli Notary will not acknowledge a Palestinian signature until they acknowledge the State of Israel’s signature.
(d) Yes, a single signature can be acknowledged multiple times, but it is the signer who does the acknowledging.

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May 14, 2019

30 year rates took a dive in January giving new hope to struggling Notaries

Filed under: Marketing Articles — admin @ 11:10 am

Meet Jane in South Dakota who just got through a polar vortex. She suffered freezing pipes, the risk of frostbite, being stuck at home, not to mention not being able to get Ramen noodles.. you know, the oriental flavor that is so much fun to garnish with sliced celery and eat with chopsticks. Well, I bet these lower interest rates are a happy surprise to Jane. That means a sudden increase in Notary work, and might lead also to better weather.

123notary’s sales are up about 7% from last year. Facebook is still sluggish and the forum is almost dead though. But, there is hope, hope for a better future.

30 year interest rates went down below 4.5% for the first time since April 2018. The question is, will they stay this low or get lower? If so, then Notaries will get work. If they go up, I might have to learn how to import plastic buddhas from China and compete with and they are a tough competitor.

See this link for a graph of 30 year interest rates

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May 13, 2019

Notaries over 50

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:29 am

If you are a Notary over 50, it is time to get your colon tested for colon cancer. Eating kale and cabbage just doesn’t cut it anymore, but chopping the cabbage does chop it. What if you have a polyps? Those store fecal matter for long periods of time and that is toxic and can cause cancer.

If you don’t maintain your intestines properly, you might end up with what grammarians refer to as a semi-colon.

Also, don’t ignore daily colon health. Most Americans don’t get enough figure. Salads, veggie soups, and stir fries with cabbage should be part of your diet. Certain foods have fiber which you need. But, you also need foods that nurture the colon energetically and chemically. Here are my suggestions.


Psyllium Husks – this is a great source of fiber in capsules. It is not a substitute for a good diet, but will give you shapely bowel movements that are not at all gunky. This supplement can dehydrate you a little, so drink lots of water if you take these.

Blackberries – This is the food source with the highest grams of fiber per serving. They also are good for keeping your blood vessels cleaned out. Or try blackberry jam. This food has roughly 8 grams of fiber per serving.

Avocados – These are next in line for having almost 7 grams of fiber per serving and is considered a super food.

Nuts — Any type of nuts have good fiber and lots of other minerals. As with any other high calorie food, consume in moderation.

Veggies – Vegetables have fiber, but not as much as you might think, so you have to eat a lot of them.

In addition to getting enough fiber for colon health, you need foods that nourish the colon with good energy, natural chemicals, and moisture.

Aloe Vera — you can drink it or eat it. This has been used for centuries by eastern medicine as a way to help the colon get the moisture it needs. Just don’t over do it or it will have too much moisture.

Bananas — This good is shaped like a colon and helps keep the intestines healthy and moving. It is a natural preventive measure against constipation. But, if you are already constipated, it may or may not provide fast relief. A banana a day keeps the colonoscopy therapist away.

Apples – This food is good for colon, liver and for your body in general.

Mangos – Helps protect the lungs and colon. Yummy too with yogurt in a lassi.

Cabbage – This is a superfood for the colon along with other cruciferous vegetables. It provides nutrients to keep the colon healthy.

If you want to live to be 100, stay lean, keep a healthy colon and liver, and think happy thoughts. The sad thing is that most Notaries are over 50, and have horrible health problems like cancer, strokes, diabetes. It is important to maintain yourself in a daily manner, and that will reduce the risk of serious health complications. I am now walking two times per day for at least 40 minutes. I am feeling better and dropping a lot of weight too.

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May 12, 2019

Part 2 of can you notarize a photograph (parental advisory suggested)

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:11 am

A guy comes to a Notary and asks if the Notary can notarize a photo. The Notary says, “Sorry, I took that NNA Just say no course and the book says that I should say no to such a request.” So, the guy says, then what can we do? The Notary suggested getting a document drafted regarding the photo, attaching a Jurat, swearing under Oath, and attaching the photo by staple as evidence of the photo in question.

The signer was willing to do this. So, the Notary went to the signer’s house, saw the photo and said, “Oh, I didn’t realize this would be a nude photo.” The signer said, “Oh, does that make a difference? Someone posted this photo on the internet and we are trying to get it taken down.”

The Notary was wondering who posted it on the internet. Sounds like the caller… who sounded like the boyfriend did something that he later got in trouble for and had to send something to some internet provider company. Finally, the notary said, “Yes, I can notarize this nude photo, but only if you sign in the nude as well.” The signer reacted with complete shock and said, “What???” Then the notary said, “No, I’m just messing with you! ha ha ha ha, made you react!”

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May 11, 2019

A new category in the Notary census

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:13 am

The traditional categories on Notary census counts for race would be non-hispanic-white, hispanic white, non-hispanic white, black or “african-american”, hispanic, asian or pacific islander, etc. But, now due to the cultural divide in the United States, there is a huge divide between those who are white, and those who are “huwight.” And I assure you that those who identify as being hwite or huwight are not hispanic… although these days you never know, especially in remote parts of Texas (yee-haw…)

If you live in a large urban center, say politically correct things and enjoy having sushi on the weekends, you are white.

But, if you drive a pick up, listen to country music, vote republican, and have a selection of sawed off shot guns and rifles bolted to the back window of your pick up truck, it is more likely (although sometimes it can be ambiguous) that you are definitely “huwight.” If you refuse to notarize on Sundays, you are definitely huwite. If you take offense when someone calls you while you are having dinner or after 7:45 in the evening or if you are at a baseball game (how is the caller supposed to know?) then you are most certainly huwite.

If your family escaped from Fidel Castro, or the political tyranny of Argentina, you look Anglo, but racially identify only with brown skinned races for cultural reasons, first of all you fail to understand the difference between culture and race, and secondly… you are white… hispanic white. But, racially hispanic white is still just white with a slightly different accent and cultural heritage. The DNA still matches despite all of your inane and illogical claims of being a different race (this one is for my chiropractor.)

If you are Cuban, Republican and living in Florida (running for policical or notorial office), and are confused about how to identify yourself on the Notary census form. Just take this simple test. Which statement sounds more like something you would say?

1. My grandparents were hard working immigrants who played by the rules and did their best to learn the language and fit in.
2. I’ve noticed that the Chinese pot sticker dumplings are a lot more flavorful up in Dallas than this rinky dinky town we live in down here.
3. What did you say about my daddy?

If you picked one, then your name is Marco Rubio, you play by the rules, most people like you, and you are likely to be our nation’s next leader, and you will probably declare “arroz con pollo” to be our next national dish to please your Cuban grandparents. And I’m cool with that providing you don’t over do the garlic.

All right folks, that about sums it up!

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May 10, 2019

Lessons Learned from 10+ Years in Investment Banking and How I Used That to Start My Notary Services Business

Filed under: Other Guest Bloggers — admin @ 9:25 pm

Lessons Learned from 10+ Years in Investment Banking and How I Used That to Start My Notary Services Business.

Working at a prestigious investment bank in the mortgage sector seemed to be the role that I would continue with until retirement. That’s the way it was in that industry, each role was extremely competitive and once you finally received a full-time job at a well- known firm, it all seemed to be smooth sailing after that. We had used mobile notaries all of the time at my role with the bank and it never even crossed my mind that I’d end up running my own business in this space.

After 12 years with the bank, I felt that I had accomplished all that I had wanted to and that it was time for a new challenge. It wasn’t until I had my own bad experience with a mobile notary that I realized that I can definitely improve upon that and that no customer should feel that rushed/stressed out in an already difficult situation. After completing a refinance on my home, we had a notary come to help with the closing documents. The best ways to describe the experience would be disorganized, rushed, and overall just frustrating. That was when it clicked – I’ve seen this before time and time again from other mobile notaries.

I did the research and learned exactly what I would need to do to start my own business and obtain the proper licensing in the notary services field. It wasn’t easy to leave such a safe job and at such a prestigious firm, but I knew I could greatly add value to the customers I would work with and I would guarantee that none of my notary services clients would ever get that awful experience I had seen time and time again.

What are some of the main lessons that I took away and have helped me continue to grow my mobile notary firm here in the Phoenix, AZ area? First of all, I saw the stress and the anxiety that went into the moments that mobile notaries were needed. These major milestones should not be treated lightly. When done correctly and when treating clients with patience and the respect that they deserve, it’s an amazing experience to be a part of putting their minds at ease. To be a part of that excitement when someone purchases their first home and need to finalize all of the documents to the difficult times when someone needs to notarize a medical power of attorney for a loved one. It is our responsibility to be professional and caring. I see this as the most important principle, and this is what continues to lead my business to be able to help add value in more people’s lives.

Secondly, I saw the importance of being precise and timely in the notary services field.
The difference between a successful and unsuccessful house closing or refinancing can come down to issues with the paperwork at the last minute. It is a notary’s key role to be able to prevent fraud and other issues that may come up as an added layer of security for both parties involved in a transaction. In a world where scammers and fraud run rampant, adding in an unbiased third party can be a huge value add to the whole process of various legal documentation signings.

Finally, and this lesson learned applied to every job and role that I’ve had at various companies – go above and beyond for your clients or your colleagues and you will see that level of trust and respect pay off throughout your career. One of the main reasons why I run my business with the flexibility to work on weekends and other hours that the competition will not is that I know that unexpected issues always come up and it’s my duty to be there for my clients when they need me. It’s not uncommon to have to drop everything I’m working on and rush over to help a client out with their loan signing needs, as they’ve come to expect that level of service from my business.

Although it was intimidating at first and doubts came up, leaving the investment banking world behind was one of the best decisions that I’ve made in my life. Instead of being bound by processes and procedures, I now have the flexibility and freedom to run my business the way that I know offers the most value to my clients. Leveraging the 12+ years of experiencing in the mortgage field really helped me see the huge opportunity that there was in the notary services space and I’m excited to continue to grow my business and help those in the Phoenix area.

Shannon Winter is the Owner of Shannon’s Notary Services
(https://shannonsnotaryservices.comhttps://shannonsnotaryservices.com and helps clients in the Phoenix metro area with all of their loan signing needs.

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May 9, 2019

Donnie Wahlberg and the Notary

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:18 am

DONNIE: Hi, I’m looking for a Notary who is reliable who can help me notarize a few Affidavits.

NOTARY: Well I’m reliable.

DONNIE: Oh you are? That’s great. Because the other Notaries failed to assure me that they were reliable, therefore you’re the one I’m going to hire for my two hundred documents.

NOTARY: Really?

DONNIE: No dumb-ass! You really think I’m going to take your word for it numb-nuts? The fact that you claim to be reliable doesn’t mean jack. This is ridiculous! I’m calling someone else.

DONNIE: Hi, I’m looking for a Notary who is reliable who can help me notarize a few Affidavits.

NOTARY: I’m cooking right now. I’m a bit of a gourmet.

DONNIE: Oh, I have a new brand for you for gourmets with attitude. It’s called “What the Puck, by Wolfgang Puck.”

(disclaimer — this is not a real brand and the reference was for purely comedic purposes and yes, we love Wolfgang Puck’s line of soups by the way in real life. Particularly chicken and wild rice because I like it wild.)

NOTARY: I find that kind of offensive.

DONNIE: Well I find it offensive that you act like you’re on vacation during a fricking business call. Get your head out of your ass and let me know if you wanna work or not?

NOTARY: I politely decline.

DONNIE: I’ll have to find someone else for my 200 Affidavits that I’m paying $10 per head for.

NOTARY: I changed my mind, I’m so behind on my payments.

DONNIE: You’re behind on payments because you put recreation ahead of work as a matter of practice. I need to find a real Notary who takes life seriously. (slams phone down)

DONNIE: (ring-ring) Hi, I need a Notary to notarize a few Affidavits.

KEN: Sounds super. Can you read the name as it appears on your ID?

DONNIE: What’s it to you buddy?

KEN: It’s a legal requirement and believe me, I’m not asking you for the pleasure of asking.

DONNIE: Fair enough. It says…. Donnie Wahlberg, Donnie spelled with an i.e. at the end like your giving an example. And Wahlberg which has an “h” after the a, and the berg has an “e”, not a “u”, not that there’s anything wrong with having a “u”.

KEN: Well I don’t have a “u”, nor do I have anything against “u.”

DONNIE: And you never will.

KEN: You’re probably not my type anyway, but it never hurts to meet new people.

DONNIE: You know something… I like you. You ain’t that bad! You didn’t say nuttin’ stupid like those other nitwits I talked to.

KEN: Hey, don’t knock it. I get a lot of work cleaning up after those clowns. Too bad the clown schools aren’t taking applications because then they could become professional clowns.

DONNIE: I’m not sure I want someone squirting me with water at a signing.

KEN: All I can say is just hope to god they don’t have cream pie for desert after the signing is over. You never know where that could go.

DONNIE: Yeah, tell me about it. You’re hired. By the way, 200 documents isn’t a problem for you, right?

KEN: cha-ching! I hit the jackpot. It just means more journal entries and a little self-massage of my hand when it cramps up. By the way, do you happen to have any good massage oil?

DONNIE: I actually know of some good brands from Whole Foods that my new girlfriend just tipped me off to. She just finished school to become a Thai masseuse, but she’s Irish which is another story.

KEN: Oh really. Tell me more… And by the way, she’ll have to change her accent. People go to Thai massage to hear, “Sawat de ka” and “I do for you.” and not “Ay, the luck of leprichauns… my father O’Flanahan knows a wee over two thousand stories about those creatures he told me as a lass, he did.”

DONNIE: A point well taken. I’ll take her to one of those accent reduction places for people whose American accent is too thick.

KEN: I like it! Just have her put a little nasal into it and whine a little bit. She’ll be perfect.

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May 8, 2019

A mean notary reads a book called, “turning the xyz around.”

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:27 am

Disclaimer — this blog will not be suitable for those of you who take pleasure in taking offense at everything. For those of you adults who relish in being offended, I recommend you hang out on college campuses where you can make some friends on your own maturity level and mentality.

Once upon a time, there was a nice Notary. But, this nice Notary (named Sam… or you could call him “Sam the nice Notary” if you prefer) got stepped on too many times by everyone from politically correct a-holes to women, to mean people in general, to mean people who dispatch jobs at signing companies (who often use SnapDocs, but not always). Sam had had enough. So here is what he did.

Sam was at the car dealership and these two inconsiderate and condescending blond women in their 30’s had brought their big doggies. Sam was an animal lover, so he talked to the doggies in a nice, but slightly high pitched voice. The ladies looked at him and laughed since he wasn’t acting manly enough for their taste. Then Sam talked a little more to the doggies (Sam is convinced that animals understand him) and learned some things from the doggies. He also was considerate enough to let them sniff his Notary seal and lick it a little bit.

SAM: Umm…. ladies… I just had a little talk with your doggies. And they wanted me to relay this message to you. They tried to tell you themselves, but you don’t really understand animal language too much.


SAM: Doggie says you are too rough with him yanking him around by his leash, and you also don’t talk nicely enough either. He says you need to act more sensitive, and also more feminine with him. And if you have difficulty doing that — just use the same technique I use — pretend that you are a woman!

CONDESCENDING LADIES: What? Uhhhh! (in shock)

NEARBY GUY: That was cold bro. I love the way you handled that. Whatever you’re reading, I need to start reading.

SAM: It’s a book called “Turning the S&*T around.”

NEARBY GUY: I’m definitely going to check that out on Amazon.

Then, the Notary walked down the street and saw a very lovely looking lady. He casually winked and the dialogue went a little like this:

NOTARY: “Hi beautiful.”

LADY WALKING BY: “If you think that line is going to work with me, you’ve got another thing coming.”

NOTARY: “Oh no, I think you misunderstood me. I didn’t say that your ATTITUDE was beautiful, I said that you were.”

LADY WALKING BY: “Ouch!!! I deserved that.”

NOTARY: Sure did.

The next day the Notary went to a restaurant and sat next to two young 25-ish Asian (Chinese-American) females who were complaining about men.

ASIAN GIRL #1: (squeaky high pitched voice) Hey Shelly, I just hate it when white guys like me. Ohhh. I think they have an Asian fetish or something.

ASIAN GIRL #2: I know, don’t you hate that? Why can’t they just stick to their own kind? Why do they have to like us?

NOTARY: Ladies, I just overheard a conversation between two Asian ladies down the street who were about 32-ish which seems to be about seven years older than you. They looked just like you, and guess what they were talking about?

ASIAN GIRL #1: Umm, what?

NOTARY: The first girl was crying and said, “Men don’t approach me anymore. They used to, and I took it for granted and now I’m 32 and they don’t even notice me. Boo hoo. Do I look over the hill? I’m still attractive aren’t I? That’s you guys in just a few years. The clock is ticking so if you’re not married, stop bitching and find someone you do like rather than complaining about people you don’t like. That’s as stupid as complaining about bad offers from companies on SnapDocs. The bad offers aren’t the problem. It’s the lack of good offers. So, let’s get going – tick, tick, tick.

ASIAN GIRL #2: Oh. That guys right. Pretty harsh. We’re a bunch of ingrates and don’t realize how good we have it. We’re like two girls who are the ONLY two girls on a desert island where there are 200 men who are all competing for us who have no other choices, at least no other choices that they are comfortable with.

Some of the men are Chinese, white, black, Filipino, etc., and all fighting over us and we just treat them like they don’t exist. They are probably going to die celibate and instead of being sympathetic, we laugh at them — that is until we also end up old maids playing video games just like how I imagine they spend their Friday nights. Thanks Notary man, or whatever we’re supposed to call you.

NOTARY: Ouch!!! The way you put that… Oh and one more thing. White guys have feelings too, so try to think about that. And a preference isn’t a fetish, otherwise you would have to accuse your Chinese-American guys of having an Asian fetish and I’m sure you don’t think of it that way.

ASIAN GIRL #1: Hmmm, that’s a really interesting thing you just said. I’m going to turn that around on the next Chinese guy who shows interest in me just to mess with him during the six years when I still can. Milk it for what it’s worth baby!

NOTARY: And in case my advice doesn’t pan out… or in your case wok out (sorry for the stereotype), I know a great place with great selection of cats.

ASIAN GIRL #2: Yes, thanks for the vote of confidence. I’m going to start looking someone with a stable job who wants to get married the minute I get home on “stable guy who wants to get”

NOTARY: Oh, and one more thing. If you have a Notary fetish, here’s my card. (wink)

ASIAN GIRL #1: You are making me feel so low, and I totally deserve this. I’m so insensitive because our campus only cares about being sensitive to black transgender people. Any other category of people no longer gets any sympathy for anything and it’s considered appropriation to even talk about any other people. And last month it was Jews who got sensitivity, but only Sephardic (am I pronouncing that right?) and not Ashkenazic or Felashim. Isn’t this system of who we are forced to be nice to a bit arbitrary and illogical? No wonder I’ve not learned to be sensitive to humans in general. But, I have an affidavit I need signed for this matrimony website, so I might be seeing you sooner than you think.

NOTARY: Hey don’t knock it. Some ladies love my service so much they have to have it at least once every month.

ASIAN GIRL #2: You weren’t kidding when you were talking about fetishes!

NOTARY: Hey ladies, one at a time… please!!!


May 7, 2019

Can an individual mail a document to an Attorney to get notarized?

Filed under: Technical & Legal — admin @ 12:00 pm

This question came from a blog comment.
The answer is that yes, you can mail a document to an Attorney to get notarized. However, the signer might need to be mailed as well, because you can’t notarize a signature on a document if there is no signer. The signer can sign in front of the Attorney if you like as well. What is more important is that the Attorney draft, recommend or review the document before it is signed.

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