October 2018 - Page 2 of 3 - Notary Blog - Signing Tips, Marketing Tips, General Notary Advice - 123notary.com
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October 21, 2018

Index of best comedy posts from 2015 to present.

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:49 pm

THESE POSTS ARE IN ORDER OF QUALITY AND POPULARITY

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COMPILATION

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Best Virtual Notary Comedy Compliation!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15957

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NEW

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George Lopez Notary Public
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19889

Psych Notary Episode
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19397

Heard of PC? What about Notarily Correct?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19463

Vietnam War Notaries — A POA for a POW.
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19445

Notary guest speaker gets harrassed by students
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19700

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POPULAR

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Notaries in cars getting coffee
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18945

Disney Notary World
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18880
Jane the Virgin Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14899

Trump – Making American Notaries Great Again
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17023

Black Notaries vs. White Notaries: The Notary Manual (link a string)
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19322

How Carmen dealt with some Alt-Right customers
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19092

Notary with Tourettes Syndrome
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18999

The Noterator
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19116

Sharktank — self driving Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19104

Notarization on the Steve Harvey Show
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13704

Notary Hell — yeah, but it’s a dry heat
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13196

Notary aptitude test 2
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17065

A Notary from Florida travels to India
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19636

Shark Tank — 123notary wants to sell 10% of its shares
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16021

Notary speaker offends college students
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19395

Are you a Yes-tary or a No-tary?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16626

Shark Tank — Notary Escrow Pal
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16009

Can I bring my 12 year old to a signing?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15885

How Notary work is similar to online dating!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15763

Welcome to the Notary Zoo!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15994

You know you’re a Notary when…
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16038

Notarization in The Trang
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19652

Your highness or my highness? Notaries in the age of pot
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19256

Notary Ed similar to Driver’s Education
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19132

Notary Psychic Tarot Card Reading
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19126

What’s your sign? Notary horoscopes
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19001

Notarizing Jeff Sessions on Torture
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19296

Byron Allen Notary Hot Chocolate!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19343

The Mafia Notary with the violin case and wine
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19280

Flashpoint — Notary job for a hostage with a multimillion dollar contract
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18798

Noternity Court
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14091

Notary space station — in space, nobody can hear you sign!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18920

The Notary Train
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18928

Honey, you can kiss my app!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=14902

Can you sign in your sleep? What would that be like?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=18874

When someone doesn’t have ID — new approaches
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15284

The Mayan rescission calendar
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15096

A new acknowledgment form for transgender people
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19658

Pulling the plug — a Notary story
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=13722

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October 20, 2018

A trip to a metaphysical bookstore

Filed under: Humorous Posts — Tags: — admin @ 10:34 am

I read about Bodhi Tree metaphysical bookstore, a popular place in Los Angeles that is now only an online store. But, while they had a physical location, I called them up and asked what type of bookstore they were.

JEREMY: (ring-ring) Hello? Bodhi Tree? What type of bookstore are you?

BODHI TREE: We are a metaphysical bookstore.

JEREMY: Super. I’ll be right over.

So, I went into a transe, got my gatekeeper spirit to come… he guards the entry point to my body so that evil spirits do not enter my body while I leave my body. I leave my body, go to a metaphysical car rental place in the astral plain, rent a car, drive over to Bodhi Tree’s metaphysical location and find out that they are not there. What an ordeal! I come back into normal consciousness, and call Bodhi Tree again.

JEREMY: (ring-ring) Hi, Bodhi Tree?

BODHI TREE: Didn’t we hear from you an hour ago?

JEREMY: Yes, um… I went into the astral plain, and try to find your store on a metaphysical level, but it was not there. I rented an astral car and drove all over the metaphysical universe, but you were nowhere to be found.

BODHI TREE: Oh, no. We are a physical store.

JEREMY: Then WHY did you say you were a metaphysical bookstore?

BODHI TREE: Oh, because the books we sell are metaphysical.

JEREMY. (pause…) Oh! So, I need to drive my physical car to your physical store, which will have bookshelves that are all empty because your books are all metaphysical???

BODHI TREE: Ummm, well not exactly. Our books are physical books about metaphysical topics.

JEREMY: (pause…… ) Oh! ….. Now I understand. But, I can’t come this week.

(next week)

JEREMY: (ring ring) Bodhi Tree???

BODHI TREE: Sorry, but we have closed. But, visit our website if you want to order online. We are now an online store.

JEREMY: Looks like I will have to go to the underworld to visit their cyber store. Where is my gate keeper spirit??? I think it would be easier if their store really was a metaphysical store. But, then the lady at the counter might be a talking alligator. That is how the underworld is. Animals that talk, people who have faces that morph into other beings. Really weird. And then you come out of your transe, and everything is normal again. At least the way I do it. But, the way people do it in Peru is a little different. I’ll leave that to your imagination.

NOTARY: Hello, I am a metaphysical notary. Would you like me to notarize something?

JEREMY: Yes, I have a metaphysical document.

NOTARY: Sorry, I can’t notarize it because the certificate has out of state wording.

JEREMY: Darn!!!! At least the document is within our realm of consciousness though — just put that in the venue.

NOTARY: It doesn’t work that way, not if you are an m-Notary.

JEREMY: I’ve heard of an eNotary, but not an mNotary. I guess that is a metaphysical notary.

NOTARY: Yeah. Just make sure your commission doesn’t get terminated down here because that would be an eternity.

JEREMY: I’ll keep that in mind. By the way, there are no counties in the astral world. Only talking alligators!

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October 19, 2018

The pro choice movement in the Notary industry

Filed under: Humorous Posts — admin @ 11:41 am

Notaries are so pro choice these days that they can’t even do their job. I asked a question where the notary was asked, under a particular situation, which type of notary act could you do? The answer typically given by notaries who don’t know their job was that the Notary could not choose the act for the client. I never asked them to choose, only to identify which act would be legal in their state. That is very different. It seems that Notaries are so pro-choice that they cannot see straight.

But, should a signer have the right to abort their notarization, after the right to rescission is in the second quarter or trimester? Would that even be moral? Personally, I think that the signer should have the right to choose, unless they are a man. In America, men aren’t allowed equal rights. The woman has the right to choose, and the man has the responsibility to pay. I think this should be reversed, after all it is part of the man’s body involved in the pregnancy, even if it is a microscopic excretion, right?

Maybe there needs to be a Federal Court case to determine whether or not the signer should have the right to choose. But, how do you decide of the notarization is a fully independent life form? Does it even matter? Christian Notaries are very against the right to abort a Notarization. But, if you look at the situation from alternate points of view, that is exactly why society has so many fatherless documents running around with no guidance causing routine disruptions to society, court cases, and even murder.

Is it worth it to save the life of a document, even though statistically that document might take the life of another? I guess these questions are far too deep for me to ponder.

Next thing you know, thousands of female Notaries will be marching the streets of Washington DC demanding new legislation that will protect female signers right to choose anything from pen color, which notary act to use, and the right to abort a botched notarization. You will hear about the pro choice movement in Notary newsletters throughout the land, and in conversations in forums everywhere. The movement will breed controversy between men and women, liberals and conservatives, parents and their children. On the other hand, it isn’t the 60′ anymore, so maybe people will stick to knocking down statues of our nation’s not so equal heritage instead.

In any case, next time you need another fellow notary, ask them if they are pro choice.

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October 18, 2018

The first woman to become a Notary Public

Filed under: General Stories — Tags: , — admin @ 12:44 am

The first woman Notary Public in the State of California was Clara Shortridge Foltz. She became a lawyer in 1878 and was the first female to practice law in California. She was also the first female prosecutor in a murder case!

Knowing us, we will probably create an article in the future entitled, “The first Notary Public to become a woman.”

The NNA wrote an interesting article on this woman at
https://www.nationalnotary.org/notary-bulletin/blog/2018/03/clara-foltz-woman-notaries

You might also like:

10 ways female notaries can protect themselves
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19196

Lady Notaries need to show caution
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=17469

I’d rather stop being a Notary than carry a gun
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=15896

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October 17, 2018

When are Notaries rude to title companies?

Filed under: Etiquette — Tags: — admin @ 11:42 am

I wrote an article a few months ago stating that if you are rude to Jeremy (that’s me) that you are probably rude to title. I got lots of hateful responses. The point is that Notaries used the excuse that since I was not paying them, that they had the right to be rude to me and also that I was rude. But, I am only rude to people who provoke the hell out of me — which includes a long list of people.

But, this week, I talked to a few people who worked at signing and title companies to get the truth from their point of view. Here is what I found out.

Company 1.
A person who used to work in title for years told me that Notaries were regularly rude to people working in title, but that problem was no greater than any other problem they had.

Company 2
Another person who had worked in escrow as an assistant claimed that she had not heard of Notaries being rude to title officers. Hmm. A completely different story.

Company 3
This third person owned a small signing company in Arizona. He claimed that Notaries were rude to him, but only when he confronted them with something they did wrong that they were unwilling to take responsibility for. He confirmed my complaint that Notaries by and large make claims to be amazing, and are very unwilling to acknowledge their flaws or mistakes.

Summary
It seems to me that the reason for rudeness on the part of Notaries is coming from the same place as the self-promoting lies that Notaries tell. Most Notaries I deal with go on and on about how great they are, how much experience they have and how they never make mistakes. This is not only phony sounding, a pain in the neck (and ear) but a snow job. People who hire Notaries can see through the nonsense very quickly. When I ask people how many loans they have signed, 70% of people will give me a very long story about their career without answering my question which is a headache that I have to endure every time I do welcome calls. This type of bragging and not following instructions by answering the question the way it was asked is coming from the same place that the rudeness is coming from. A lack of modesty and a childish and confrontational attitude.

It would be better if Notaries would just answer questions as they were asked, adopt a more modest attitude about their work, study harder, and accept the fact that they are not perfect and that others in hiring or evaluative positions will scrutinize them. It is childish to assume that you are perfect and immature to get hostile if someone criticizes you. Expect criticism and accept it. In fact, you would be a better notary if you would hold yourself to higher standards.

If Notaries would scrutinize themselves and spend more time learning in a cautious and meticulous way, there would be less for others to criticize about them. This is a profession and there is no reason not to study. Only about 1% of our Notaries on board are willing to study on their own initiative. It should be 50% at least. Accepting the fact that even though you might have a lot of years on the job that there might be a lot you don’t know that you need to know would be another act of self-honesty and modesty.

I am not saying you should go through life berating yourselves, but the attitude of most Notaries is that of an immature show-off who cannot tolerate criticism. That kind of behavior and attitude is not professional and not attractive to hiring parties. If someone in a higher position than you says that you did something wrong or don’t know something you need to, rather than fight with them, accept their words as valuable input — because it is valuable input that might keep you from getting fired or locked up one day. Try to see things from a bigger perspective. And if you don’t like me berating you, then most of you need to act a lot more professional. If you acted professional as a group, there would be no reason to berate you in the first place.

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You might also like:

The way you treat Jeremy might be the same way you treat title
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19590

Attn. Title Companies – what you need to know about 2018 123notary certification.
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=21065

If you were hiring a notary, what would you look for?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=16750

If Donald Trump hired you as a Notary, would you get fired?

If Trump hired you as a Notary, would you get fired?

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October 16, 2018

A guide to notarizing documents with blanks or multiple signatures

Filed under: Technical & Legal — admin @ 1:04 am

Don’t notarize documents with blanks!!!
That’s the end to the guide!

Dealing with Blanks
However, the main thing to understand is that as a Notary, you have many responsibilities. You have to identify people, keep a journal, staple things together, give Oaths, fill out certificates. You are so busy, that you might not have time to scan a document for blanks. But, you need to scan every single page.

If you spot a blank, you can put a diagonal or horizontal line through it. The main thing is to make sure that no new information is added to the document after the notarization.

You can also refuse to notarize and make the signer or document custodian complete the document before submitting it to the Notary.

Notarizing Individual Pages (or not)
Additionally you cannot notarize particular pages of a document separate from the document. Sometimes a particular page needs to be fixed or changed in a document and you might get a request to notarize just that page. You simply notarize the entire document as a whole.

Multiple Signatures
However, sometimes you get a document such as a health directive which has multiple notarizations within a very long document. I have seen health directives or living wills with fifty or more pages. Sometimes at a notarization you are notarizing signatures in the middle of the document as well as at the end of the document when the certificate is at the end of the document. I have also seen cases where there are multiple signatures in the middle of a document and a certificate in the middle of the document. This is confusing. Affidavit of Support forms have Jurats in the middle of the form too, and not enough room for your stamp (dumb government workers.)

The 1003 is a great example of a document with an entire page intentionally left blank. But, that is a signed document, not a notarized document.

The main point of this quick article is to remind you that you have to scan documents for blanks.

You might also like:

Cross out and initial, or use a fresh form?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19933

Affirmations – pleasing the politically correct while offending all others
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19606

Five things a Notary must do
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=19583

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October 15, 2018

Testimonial from Frank Tabacca

Filed under: Social Media — Tags: — admin @ 11:47 am

Hello Everyone

My name is Frank and I have been a Certified Signing Agent for over 9 years. Compared to some people out there that’s not a lot, but my point is this, after doing the same thing for a long time, many of us could get complacent. Well, I sure did.

I thought I knew more than most people in this business. I lost that excitement, like when you first started out. My desire to learn wasn’t like it used to be.

At first, I really did feel like reading the material, but once I started, I couldn’t stop, because I was learning things I should have known. I began to feel the desire to read more and learn more. As corny as this may sound, I feel like I’m back again. I feel like it gave me the jump start I needed that I didn’t know I needed.

I am self employed. This is my business and my company and if I don’t treat it as such, it will not produce the way it should or could.

We are all captains of our own ship. We have to lead not follow. I shouldn’t need someone else to get me motivated. We should all have the self desire to read this material and continue to review and search for any information that could help us increase our bottom line.

Since then, I have been vigorously pursuing the desperately needed updating of everything related my business, including my 123notary profile, other profiles with my clients, my own website, marketing, business tools and more.

I needed this.

I am glad 123notary decided to retest everyone. Especially ME!!

Thank you 123notary.

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October 14, 2018

INDEX — Best Notary Comedy Articles 2010 to 2014

Filed under: Best Humorous Posts,Compilations — admin @ 11:42 pm

These posts are in order of popularity and quality.

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Funniest things that happen to signing agents
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=55

The signing from hell
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=765

A social media site for Notaries — Affiant
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6410

Seinfeld episode about a Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10208

Notary Apps for the iPhone 7 you’ve never dreamed of
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10977

Vampire Notaries: 24 hour service
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4094

3 Notaries walk into a bar
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3660

Family Guy — Peter joins ISIS by mistake & needs Notarized conversion
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10507

Notary accidentally gets arrested for robbing a bank?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6541

The Notary, The Mafia & The Fedex Drop Box
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6867

My Date with Jeremy
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=4473

Signing with Invisible Ink
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=9688

Two and a half Notaries! A Notarization experience
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8974

If a pizza can get there in 30 minutes or less, why not a notary?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8699

If you are a VIP Notary, read this!
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=9235

Signs you are a Notary workaholic
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8935

Witnessing intake forms for Notary Heaven
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8832

Welcome to the Notary Hotel
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8822

Notarizing a girl’s phone number at a bar
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8781

The Signing and the Mistress
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=8377

Honey, I notarizd the kids
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7030

Getting acupuncture for notarial schlerosis
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7160

Two and a Half Notaries — detering Notary fraud
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10452

Notary Cheers: Sammy gets a name change form notarized
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10016

The Mannequin Signer
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=3178

Two Notaries assigned the same job
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=1060

The Alaska Real Estate Broker & The Notary
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=6623

Is this man a Notary?
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=10171

A 2nd date with Jeremy
http://blog.123notary.com/?p=7074

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October 13, 2018

A girl laying unconscious on my way to dinner

Filed under: General Stories — admin @ 11:46 am

I finished most of my work and was walking to dinner. Since I am losing weight these days, I need to walk at least 40 minutes, twice per day. I often walk two miles to get dinner. So, I was walking down 3rd street, and see a 25 year old lady barely conscious laying on the sidewalk. There were two guys next to her who were with her. They were waiting for an ambulance. The ambulance took a wrong turn and was on a cross street going the wrong direction. I asked them if they wanted me to flag it down. They were not sure that ambulance was theirs.

The whole time I was thinking… this problem would not have happened if they had used the new app called Ambulyns. Ambulyns has driver tracking and the driver will send you a text when he is close. Using the app, you can pinpoint where you are in a particular block.

In any case, the ambulance went all the way around a long block, came back and found them. My only concern was… will the driver offer them bottled water? Will the driver get a good review? Oh, and I almost forgot… will the girl live?

My dinner happened right after that. I wanted to try a new udon place near Beverly Center. They are Japanese so they yell “Irashimasai” very loudly when you come in. I had to tell them to keep it down. Then the next visitor came and they did it again. I will not go back because they are loud and obnoxious people. But their soup was good. Then, I got a sandwich at Berlin’s doner kabob. They have amazing sauces to go on their lamb/beef with veggies sandwich. I love Turkish style cooking. I recommended to them to have an option between chicken, lamb, beef or kidney. That way you could have a kidney doner. They thought that was funny.

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October 12, 2018

Notary insurance – it happened to us before and we covered it

Filed under: Virtual Comedy Themes — admin @ 11:43 am

We’ve seen almost everything so we cover almost everything.
We know a thing or two because we’ve seen a thing or two.

NOTARY: Am I covered if a pack of reindeer trample my car on the way to a signing?

INSURANCE GUY: We had that happen to a client before and we covered it.

NOTARY: What if I accidentally swallow my Notary seal before I notarize a loan?

INSURANCE GUY: Ummm, you probably won’t get paid for that transaction.

NOTARY: My teenage son stole my Notary seal and vandalized his school’s basketball court with it.

INSURANCE GUY: You’re on your own buddy.

NOTARY: What if I notarize a guy as John W Smith whose ID only says John Smith, find out I notarized an imposter who embezzled all of someone’s life savings that they had as equity in their home and get sued.

INSURANCE GUY: We’ve seen that before and we covered.

NOTARY: What if a meteorite crashes through the roof of a living room while I am doing a signing and that damages my Notary seal.

INSURANCE GUY: We cover that unless the meteorite falls during a war or natural disaster that is registered with the registry of natural disasters. If it is a disaster of natural causes that is not registered as a natural disaster than it would be classified as a natural non-natural disaster if that makes sense.

NOTARY: (thinking…) Um… I think that makes sense, kind of. What if I’m playing catch the embosser and it hits my friend on the head and he goes into a coma.

INSURANCE GUY: We cover that.

NOTARY: Thanks

INSURANCE GUY: Don’t worry, you’re covered!

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